Unwanted

It's hard being a teenage girl. Who's single. In college.

This past week, a lot has been waging a war through my mind. I'm about a month into my freshman year at college and it's proving to be a lot more difficult than I thought. There are multiple times during my day when I wish that I had someone to be with. Yep, I find myself wishing for a boyfriend, often. 

I joke a lot about my single life. I admit that. I use the #foreveralone in my tweets and I make fun of my being single in Facebook posts. To me, I can tell that I'm being sarcastic. To others, it doesn't come across as well. (That's a problem with social media, but we'll get to that in another post.)

I got told this week that it isn't "becoming of a woman of God to be so 'desperate'". I literally wanted to scream my head off. I am not desperate for a boyfriend. I'm not. I am perfectly happy being single. I can focus on other things that have greater importance. I know that it doesn't look good for girls to try and be desperate. I try and tell myself that when I find myself crushing on a guy. 

So, let's talk about something that a lot of us feel at times in our lives: 

UNWANTED.

This is a word that I've told myself a lot. I told it to myself when I was a freshman in high school. I told it to myself as I harmed my body. I told it to myself as I watched couples walk around campus last week. I see those people and I sigh and wish for something like that. 

I want to hold hands with that guy who makes my heart flutter and my knees go weak. I want to be the one who he wraps his arms around. I want to be able to laugh and cuddle with him. I want to be the one he kisses as he drops me off at my class. I want....et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

You get the gist.

I have those days and then I have days where I'm happily running around with friends, getting coffee, and talking about our lives. I have days where I'm not worried about what I'm wearing or how I look to guys around campus. I have days where I love curling up in a hammock by myself with a good book. I have days where being single is the best thing I could ever wish for.

We all have those days. Just like couples and parents and siblings and friends, I have good days and bad days. It happens. And I'm used to it. 

Don't get me wrong, I know that I am loved, that I am blessed, and that I am wanted. I know that. I just need help in remembering that no matter how trivial my "single probs" may sound, God cares about all of it. He cares about the way I feel when I see that couple sitting together at lunch. He cares so much about me, and yet, I choose not to share my problems, because I feel that they are too trivial for Him. Silly, huh?

I can't put it in a better way that LPM puts it. (Living Proof Ministries) "I mean let's be honest, sometimes a girl just needs (and wants) a male perspective to talk everything out with. Not to be needy. Not to be clingy. And certainly not for everything to be fixed and happy, but I think it's healthy to long for a mate to do life with. The Lord created us male and female so that we would compliment each other. Be a helpmate to each other." (Unwanted)

See? It's perfectly healthy for you to feel that need for male perspective. It's not wrong to feel that way. (And I believe it's partly the church's fault for making girls feel that they should embrace the single life without complaining.) 

I'm not going to make singleness sound like a great big party, because it isn't. It's tough. And it can hurt, a lot. It's not fun.

But, I do know that I can believe in God's word no matter what. He has given us promises in order for us to be able to trust and know Him. 2 Timothy has helped me in this firm belief.

"All scripture is God breathed..." (2 Timothy 3:16)

"So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:17)

God is good and there is always purpose in His goodness. I know the character of the Father. 

And God knows me. Inside and out. He knows you just as well. So, there is never any point in trying to keep things from Him. Talk to your Father. Tell Him what's going on in your heart. What you're dealing with. He wants to hear from you.

Recently, I've been trying much harder to talk to Him. I've been telling Him all--and I mean ALL--of my problems and doubts. He comforts me. He holds me close while I cry. He whispers everything I want to hear in my ears. He loves on me.

That word I mentioned earlier? Unwanted? Yeah, you see, here's the thing. 

I'm not. He's not. She's not. You're not. None of us are unwanted.

We are treasured and valued by the King of Kings. He pursues us and wants to know us. He has a plan for our lives. We just need to stop stealing the reins and let Him take over. We aren't in charge. We were never in charge. 

Just remember what you are:

WANTED.