What comes to your mind when you think of someone you personally know (be it a friend, family member, loved one, etc.) telling you that they see a therapist on a regular basis?
You are probably thinking that this person (that you know pretty closely) has some serious problems that you weren't aware of. You may think that they're crazy or weird or just plain old weak.
That's right. Weak.
That's what I thought every time I thought about anyone going to see a therapist. Even myself.
I viewed therapy as weak. If you couldn't take care of yourself by yourself then what were you doing with yourself. I believed that we have the ability to take care of ourselves without any outside help.
Which is why I avoided therapy for the longest time. I made excuses not to go and would weasel my way out of it every single time.
That is, until I got to college.
Here at Berry, counseling is free to every student. There is a counseling center on campus and all you have to do is call in to make an appointment and you're all set. Sessions are set to one hour each and the counselors are there to listen and talk you through things.
For the past two years, I still told myself that counseling was weak. That it was embarrassing. Which is why I still never went or made an appointment. I was scared of what others would think of me.
However, a couple months ago, I made a decision that would change my life for the better. I made an appointment for a counseling session. I didn't tell anyone I was doing this--not even my parents. I still wanted to keep it a secret and wanted to see for myself how it went before letting anyone else in on the notion of me attending therapy.
And you know what?
It made me strong. And brave.
Therapy is not weak. It was never weak to begin with.
It is strong. It is courageous.
Society now rarely sees this as a healthy thing--as something that helps us. It is an overwhelming experience; we feel burnt out from it. Therapy is designed (by society) to make us feel vulnerable...exposed...as if there is a gaping wound in us that we cannot seem to close. And in the end, we start to beat ourselves up, believing that we can solve all of our problems by ourselves. We think we don't need professional help and when we realize we can't fix it on our own, we beat ourselves up even more. What's wrong with me?!?!
The first thing my counselor told me when I sat down for my first session a few months ago was "Good for you. You are doing something great for you and for others around you. Kudos. Be proud of yourself. You are brave. You. Are. Strong."
Seeking help is strong. And healthy. I read somewhere that "it takes courage to face our issues and to make a commitment to address them consciously, and move through them to the best of our ability".
We are human. Simply human. To ask for help only reassures the fact that WE ARE HUMAN. We are not perfect. It is impossible for us to be able to fix ourselves by ourselves. We aren't God. Nor are we robots. It is a natural experience to want or need others around us. To need help from others.
God created us for a purpose. And that purpose is not to self-destruct. To avoid help when you need it is to destroy, not only yourself, but others around you that you love and who love you. God would not want us to pull ourselves into a downward spiral. He would want us to seek help when we need it.
To seek for counseling means that you are healing. You are putting the work into yourself to help you heal, whether that be from a mental health issue or an event that put your life on hold. You are healing. You are being proactive. You are doing the work that is necessary for a healthy life. You are not being passive whatsoever. You. Are. Strong.
I currently go to a session about every other week. Today was my first session since the beginning of December. And it was so good to be back. I can already feel weights being lifted off my shoulders bit by bit. I can breathe a bit easier and I feel myself walking with my head a bit higher.
If you or anyone you know has been thinking about seeking professional help, please don't hesitate to make an appointment somewhere. These counselors are here to help you. If you don't want them to talk, they don't have to. If you don't want to talk, that's fine too. For my first session, it took my a good half hour to finally open up to this stranger. And when I did, it felt like I couldn't stop. So, don't worry, it may take some time to feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger, but it will get easier as time goes on. Trust me.
And if you are currently seeing a therapist or counselor, may I say kudos to you! Bravo! You are grabbing on to that tool that helps us pursue a healthy life!
And to all those nasty things the enemy may throw at us, be it abuse, loss, grief, depression, suffering, pain, etc., may I say: BRING IT ON.
I am not going to take any of this without putting up a fight of my own. And I hope you won't either. Fight on. Win. Show the enemy that he cannot control us.
In His Name.
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