I just wanted to take a few minutes to discuss depression with you guys. The news about comedian Robin Williams is all over media and I felt it fitting to talk about what depression is and what it does to people around us.
I want to point our, first of all, the depression is not a sin. It isn't. Nor is it a choice. It isn't a character defect, a spiritual disorder, or an emotional dysfunction. Depression is a mental illness that should be taken very seriously. Viewing depression as a sin in and of itself ultimately prevents individuals from seeking treatment.
We are all human. We are of flesh. So, it is natural for us to feel upset and to feel sad. We cannot all be happy all the time.
I'm beyond willing to admit to you guys that I used to be depressed. Now, I never went to a doctor and was never given prescription medicines to combat my depression. However, I diagnosed myself.
You guys know my story. It was in high school that I began to stray from God and everything I used to know. I didn't want to go out anymore. I didn't want to hang out with my friends. I didn't want to go to church. I didn't want to attend youth group or any social gathering for that matter. I just wanted to stay in bed and be antisocial.
I wasn't happy anymore. Yeah, I would smile in front of others, but it was a fake smile. I was lying through my smiles and forced laughs. And the thing is that, I thought that nobody was paying attention. That they didn't care enough to be able to tell that everything I was saying was a lie.
That just caused me to sink further into myself and into that dark hole. Dark thoughts clouded my head every day.
If people don't care, why should I?
Why does everything hurt so much?
People wouldn't care if I was gone, right?
I want this pain to end.
What if I ended it?
What if I ended me?
Yes, it did get that far. I began to self-harm. I had suicidal thoughts weekly. I was not well.
Luckily, I was able to get help. From family. From friends. From people who loved and cared for me.
And here I am today. Alive and healthy. I still have scars lining my arms, but they tell my story. I am not ashamed of them because I defeated death and depression. I won.
Please understand though, I still have some thoughts like that. They aren't often, but I do have them. When I get upset to the point of where I don't think I can handle life anymore, I begin to wonder about slipping into my old ways. But I don't. I start to pray and have God take everything from me.
So, yes. I am a Christian and I had depression. There are some people who believe that Christians can't have depression. Just because we have an amazing God, doesn't mean that we don't get upset at times. Like I said before, depression isn't a choice. It's a serious mental illness.
"Often, we ignore the fact that our spiritual condition and psychological state of mind are highly affected by what is happening to us physically. Sometimes depression is simply the result of exhaustion. In 1 Kings 19, we read how the prophet Elijah, worn out from his struggles to defeat Jezebel and her prophets of the pagan deity Baal, is so depressed that he cries out to God to end his life. In response, God tells Elijah to eat a good meal and go to bed, and that he will feel differently in the morning. For those of us who are depressed because we’re not getting enough sleep (and most Americans don’t), it is a great comfort that we can take our burdens to Christ, and He will give us rest.
Diet and exercise also figure into our emotional and spiritual conditions. The Bible tells us that the body is “the temple of God” (1 Corinthians 6:19), and it is sad how badly most of us treat our bodies. How many of us would feel more spiritually alive and joyful if only we exercised and stopped dumping junk food into God’s temple? Big doses of chocolate bars can put us on a high, but we'll experience a spiritual and psychological downtime a short time later.
Depression can also be brought on by chemical imbalances in the body. A person’s DNA can trigger chemical reactions that put him or her into an intensive funk. For women, the bodily changes that accompany menopause can bring on extreme depression. With prayer, “all things are possible,” but escaping from depression that is due to a chemical imbalance in the body through prayer alone is not probable. Those who try to dissuade religious people from getting medical help for clinical depression, claiming that faith alone is the cure, can do devastating harm. In many cases, a severe depression that lasts more than a few days is bio-physically based and requires medical treatment. This is certainly true for any who suffer from a bipolar condition. A psychiatrist is trained to diagnose both medical and mental causes of depression. To seek such treatment does not denote a lack of faith, but rather evidence of a willingness to take advantage of what God has made available to us through modern science."
[[Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Emotional-Health/Christians-Take-Depression-Seriously.aspx?p=2#6QJV448hLcdaxBOG.99]]
I also just wanted to say please don't joke around about depression. You don't know who's suffering through it at this present moment. I personally take offense when people joke about going to kill themselves or say (kind of snottily) that my band aids make it look like I cut myself.
Just be mindful of what you say to others. It can really hurt even if you don't mean it to.
Also, if you are feeling anything like I've been describing, please go talk to someone. It can be a parent, friend, doctor, relative, anybody. Don't let yourself get to that low point where you are self harming for release. There are hotlines and websites to help out with anything and everything. Don't be scared to reach out.
For now, that's all I have to say. If anybody needs someone to talk to, I am always available. Text me. Call me. Stop by my house. Write me a letter. Shoot me an email. I'm always willing to talk.
Stay cool. Radiate positive vibes.
Kaitlyn
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