I, Kaitlyn, am a full blown sinner.
Yeah, I admit it. I'm a sinner.
I curse. I'm ashamed to say this, but I do. (Especially while driving and when somebody cuts me off or like to tailgate me). I'm not proud of it and I work hard not to and to exchange those words for something else, but sometimes, it slips and I can't do anything but apologize for it.
I get jealous. Boy, do I get jealous. I'm a girl, so I find myself wishing for a slimmer body, manageable hair, whiter teeth, etc. I want to look like those girls on the covers of magazines.
I'm prideful. I would love to say that I'm not and that I'm as humble as I can be, but that would be lying and I can't do that.
I'm greedy. I want things or myself and don't wish to share them with others.
I'm a glutton. I love food. (People who know me, know how much I love food.) And I understand the horrors of waste of food, but there are times when I'd rather feed myself than the poor and hungry.
I am sometimes a sloth. There are moments when I just want to reject the grace God has given to me.
I experience moments of wrath. I'm a naturally emotional person. I can get angry very easily and very quickly if the wrong thing is said to me or about me.
And last, but not least, I'm lustful. That may be a strange thing for a girl to admit, but we can't deny it. I may not lust after men for sex, but I do lust after relationships and for love.
You see, just like everyone else, I sin. Every week. Every day.
But, here's the thing: even though I sin, I'm forgiven by the grace of my God.
Easter is coming up this Sunday.
Holy week is something of a big deal for me in my journey with Christ. I spend the week doing devotionals and reading my Bible. I tend to listen to only worship and praise and work on focusing my free time, praying and journaling. I watch and re-watch Passion of the Christ and start posting bible verse all over my room.
Easter is the time to celebrate God's grace. He clothed Himself in flesh and came down to this earth all to be put on a cross to die for our sins. We are cleansed from our mistakes and are forgiven for our sins.
His grace means that all of our mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.
I get chills every time I think about that.
This past week, I went through a mid-college crisis and broke down one night. I cried and cried and couldn't stop. I wanted life to stop. I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. It even came to the point where I almost picked up a knife. But I didn't.
I immediately texted a few friends about it and within ten minutes, I had people in my room, holding my hands, hugging me and making sure I was okay and sane enough to make it through the night. They dropped everything and came to me when I was in need.
I am so blessed by those relationships. The fact that they would put down whatever they were doing doing just to check on me and make sure I was safe means the world to me. Even though I sin and make mistake after mistake, they still care for me day after day.
(So thank you to those people--my people--who came to me that night. Thank you.)
So as Easter comes around the corner, let's remember a few things:
1. God loves us despite the fact that we fail Him everyday. He shows us this through His never ending grace. He sent His son to die for us. If that isn't everlasting and merciful love, I don't know what is.
2. God can transform a sin-stained soul into a masterpiece of grace. We are washed clean by His sacrifice and we are forgiven through His love. There is no greater thing in the word than this.
3. God loves us even in our darkest times (Romans 5:8).
4. Our sins are paid in full. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. We don't have to worry about our debt because Jesus paid it for us.
5. And most of all, death has been defeated by love.
Let me repeat that...
Death has been DEFEATED by love.
The darkness of the world...the worst thing that humans can experience has been vanquished and slain by God's everlasting love for us.
How amazing is that??
In His amazing, everlasting love.
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