Don't Settle: An Open Letter to Girls Who Deserve Better

Dear You,

I’ve heard that you’re struggling. With a lot. Boys, friendships, family, and just plain old life. I’ve heard that there are days when you just want to give up on everything. Days when you lay in bed and wonder if it’s worth getting up for the day. Days when everything just seems to go wrong. 

Trust me, sweet girl, I’ve been there. I really have. 

This letter is for all the girls out there who feel like they aren’t worthy of love. It’s for the girls who are in love, yet doubt anyways. It’s for the ones who are broken-hearted. It’s for those girls who are still wishing for their Prince Charming. It’s for the hopeless romantics. It’s for the hopeful romantics. It’s even for those who are happy. And, sweetheart? This letter…it’s specifically for you.

Let’s be honest here, girls. We love to fall in love. We want to be desired by someone else. And I’m not just talking about girls here. And I’m also not just talking about women. I am talking about the human population as a whole. We love to love. And even more, we love to be loved. But you know what our problem is? We are settling. That’s right, we, girls, are settling. We are settling for that guy who hold doors behind them rather than in front of them. We are settling for “surface relationships” when we should be looking for deeper moments and deeper conversations. We are settling for “talking” to a guy when we should have a “let’s do something about this” kind of mindset. We are settling for having a “thing” when we should have a “I’ll be on my way” mindset. We are texting. We are snapchatting. We are stalking Instagram posts. How about we not settle for social media flirting? If a guy really likes you (and I mean, really likes you), he will like the real you more than the social media you. We, as humans on this world, are settling for that 21st century relationship when what we really should be searching for in an everlasting love. 

Baby girl, love is a two way street. Treat others as you want to be treated. We should be treated by guys how we have desired to be treated for the longest time and we should also be willing to return this treatment back to them. You can’t go around expecting a breathtaking love story if he in the only contributor to it. And he shouldn’t expect that either if you are the only one writing in that story. Don’t believe the lies that the world and Satan tries to tell you. Don’t believe them when they tell you how unrealistic a Christ-like man is. Just because you crave a more meaningful relationship than most of the world, doesn’t mean that you are living in a fantasy. Don’t believe those awful lies. See, the thing is, you just have higher standards. And that’s okay. One day, you will see those high standards turn into a high-valued relationship. 

Here’s another painful truth: relationships end. They end, darling. And there isn’t a thing we can do to change that. You can’t be looking towards a full life while also hoping for no heartbreak. Without heartbreak, there can be no lessons learned for us. Relationships end; you cry; you hurt; you move forwards. Relationships end because God did not have them in His will for you. Maybe your sense of humor doesn’t match their’s. Not your fault. Maybe you’re too extroverted. Not your fault. When you settle in a relationship, you are saying that you are too scared that no one else will love you like they do. You are staying out of fear. When you settle, your emptiness and your absence of fulfillment isn’t his problem. It’s yours. Yes, I’m going to be blunt about that: it’s yours. We can blame others. We can totally blame it on their mistakes and their lack of love. But when you settle—oh, when you settle—you are only hurting yourself that much more. 

Let me tell you…you do not deserve a 21st century relationship. I’m going to repeat it. You. Do not. Deserve a 21st century relationship. You don’t deserve those “read receipts” or those “likes” on Twitter or Instagram. You know what you deserve? You deserve a love-centered relationship—one centered on something greater than both of you combined! You don’t deserve to be cheated on. Under any circumstances. Ever. You deserve a guy who would never think of leaving you. I’m serious. You deserve to be appreciated and loved for who you are; not judged by your compassion, intelligence, or beauty. You do not deserve to feel like the only one in the relationship. You deserve to feel like there is someone else putting in the effort. Putting in 100% on the other side. You definitely do not deserve a car honk or a text saying “here”. You deserve a doorbell ring. You do not deserve to be treated “less than” anything. You deserve to be treated like the most important person in the world. No matter what. 

Sweetie, there will be someone who will do what he won’t. If he isn’t kind to waiters at a restaurant, there is someone who is. If he doesn’t shake hands and make good eye contact with your parents, there will be someone who does. It he doesn’t bother to pull the chair out for you, someone else will make sure to do it. If he is someone who cancels on you quite often, there will be someone who will always show up ten minutes early. If he doesn’t walk you to the door because it’s too old-fashioned, there will be someone who believes the opposite. If he doesn’t remember those small details (like the way you take you coffee or your favorite Skittle flavor), just know that there will be a guy in whom you’ll be so surprised because they know so much about you. If this guy doesn’t go out of his way for you, just know that there is someone else who will make it his priority to go out of his way just for you.

Here’s my advice to you: If you wouldn’t marry them, don’t date them. If you look at him and you wouldn’t want to wake up to their…personality, every day, of every week, for the rest of your life, please don’t waste your time now. If you look at him and wouldn’t want your future kids to be just like him, don’t waste your time now. Darling, just wait. Wait for someone that you would never associate the word “settle” with. Wait. Wait instead of settling for the wrong guy. Wait, because out there, there is someone who will look at you in a way that you never knew was possible. Wait, because there is bound to be something greater, a relationship between true loves, and not those “love to be loved” type of people. Wait, because there is someone out there who would never (NEVER) allow you to settle. Wait. Because if he won’t, then you can be sure that someone else will. 

Love,    

Someone who has been in your shoes

Recovering

I told you guys I'd be back with an update. ;)

I know it's only been about a week, but I have something to share with you all. Something that's really important for everyone to understand and to know.

On Tuesday, I was able to make it through the day without having a legit emotional breakdown. I smiled, laughed, and ultimately forgot about things that happened only a few days ago. It felt good. And I know that I'll still have hard days. Break ups are hard. They aren't meant to be easy. God didn't design us for this type of misery in our lives--He created dating and marriage for our happiness. But, I am prepared for this. I know that tough days are coming, but I also know that good days are coming and even greater days will be here soon.

So, what I wanted to share with you guys tonight is a list. A list of the fourteen things you should do/think about/participate in after a break up. This list is one that I wrote down on a sheet of paper last night and placed in my planner to see every day for the next few weeks. And honestly, some of these things can help out with life in general as well.

So, here we go: "Kaitlyn's Fourteen Lessons To Help Get You Through a Break-Up"


1. Take deep breaths

Just breathe. I know it hurts. I know that it feels like your chest in being compressed so tightly that it feels like you're drowning. But trust me, and take in deep breaths and let them out. Do it as slow as you can bear it. Count to five for each in and out breath. It'll help relax your body. It begins the process of healing. 

2. Release tensions/energy

Go running. Take a kick boxing class. Go to a shooting range. Do something to let all that anger and hurt and confusion out. It will allow you to think more clearly and you will be able to breathe a bit more easily. Letting out anger will show you that you really aren't angry--you're just hurt and don't know what to do about it. Personally, I have started running again. When I'm upset and "angry" I take it out on the treadmill and the track and sometimes I even beat a personal record. 

3. Start a new hobby or restart an old one

Learn a new language. Start painting or drawing. Take a photography class. Start writing poetry or fiction or even non fiction. Do something that will occupy your time. This way, you won't be dwelling on the break up all day. Look for something that you love to do and that will help you forget and move on. 

I went back to painting and to journaling in my Bible. They relieve a lot of stress from my shoulders and I definitely feel much happier when doing them. 

4. Pray

This is SO important. If you ever find yourself unable to cope with life/reality or if you find yourself curled up, sobbing and unable to breathe correctly, cast everything to God. He has His hands open to you, waiting for you to make that choice. Tell him your fears, your doubts, your anger, your confusion, your hopes, everything.

5. Love yourself

This is also VERY important. You cannot blame yourself. You can't beat yourself up and you cannot start believing that you aren't worthy of love. Because you are worthy. You are so worthy. Darling, it is unbelievable how worthy you are.

Tell yourself how worthy you are every morning while getting ready. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "You are a beautiful and strong human and you are worthy of love".

6. Let Go

This one will be hard. So freaking hard. Especially if you are currently getting out of a long-term relationship. You'll want to hang on to every memory, every trinket, every picture. And you are allowed to do that...for a short period of time. But eventually, you'll have to start letting go. You'll have to throw out those pictures and maybe even some trinkets and memories. Only when you start letting go and stop holding on, will you be able to start moving on with your life. 

With this, you have to learn to forgive and love your ex. (Love them as your brother/sister in Christ.) Another hard one. I've told you, I love to hold grudges. It makes me feel in control of the situation. But, holding on to grudges is not healthy for getting over a break up. We need to learn forgiveness. How can we stay angry at someone God loves? It's almost impossible. God has already forgiven them, now it's just your term. You don't have to do it right away, but eventually, you will need to do it. 

7. Don't move on too quickly

One of the worst mistakes someone can make right after a break up is moving on to somebody else without letting their self fully heal. With this new age of online dating and social media, it's very very easy to find that rebound (trust me, I know all too well). Affection is addicting. This, I know all too well, too. We love the idea of dates, flowers, attention, holding hands, kissing, letter/notes, etc. So, with this addiction, we find it easy to want to move on right away. However, if we truly care about God, witnesses, our ex (go back to the previous lesson on forgiving and loving and letting go) and eventually, our future significant other, we should wait and pray. God will provide the right guy at the right time. We just have to trust in Him and His plan for us. 

8. Spend a lot of time outside

Get some fresh air. It clears your head and gives you time to think and process things. Trust me. It works. So well.

9. Surround yourself with others who love you

Don't always hole up in your room by yourself. You need others with you. You need support through this tough time. Let others love on you. If your friend wants to bring you a donut and coffee, let them. If they just want to sit in your room with you while you cry and get angry, let them. Don't shut others out. Let those who love you, be there for you. Lean on them. (But not too much so that you're unable to get by without them. You will need to be able to walk by yourself again at some point.)

10. Allow yourself to feel (cry, get angry, etc)

Cry. Please, please, just cry. Sob. Do whatever. Don't hold it in. It's a normal human emotion. You are allowed to spend a few days or a week just riding that emotional roller coaster. Cry; get angry; be hurt; be confused. But after those few days, focus on your happiness. Don't dwell on those negative emotions. Those are just signs of Satan trying to drag you down. Don't let Satan win. Choose joy. 

And if you aren't hurting after a break-up, maybe you should. As humans, we don't go in and out of romances such as this without causing some pain for ourselves. Now, that's not to say that you should be devastated after every break-up, but there should most likely be a sense that the break up wasn't right or that it's not how everything is supposed to go in life. Our hearts were not meant to be borrowed and sometimes, God needs to show us the devastation of failed relationships to show the negative suggestions about Him and the church. 

11. Do not over analyze everything.

Please, please, PLEASE. Do not do this! It is detrimental to your overall mental health. Don't sit in your bed and go over every detail of your relationship wondering how it got to this point and wondering what went wrong. It won't do you any good and it will make you miserable. You can think about it, yes, but don't over-analyze. 

12. Stay off social media/your phone/etc.

--Delete them off Facebook. Unfollow them on Twitter and Instagram. You need time to heal. And seeing their name on every social media site you get on won’t help that healing process. And if you do get online, don’t “stalk” them. It’ll only make the hurt worse. 

--Don’t text them. Delete their old messages. Don’t call them just so you can hear their voice one last time. You need to move forward. Resist the urge and temptation to contact them. You need time. They need time. Later on, you can text them or re-friend them, if you know that you are completely over them, but only then. Never before.

13. Take it one day at a time

Honestly, this is really all you can do. Days will turn into weeks which will turn into months which will turn into years. Time will move on. You will love again. You just have to take it a day at a time. Take it step by step. Don't rush into anything and don't try to take life too fast. You won't heal in one day. You need time. Healing takes time. 

14. Trust God

I know you're probably struggling with this right now. You're probably wondering why God is doing this to you. I mean, you thought that this guy or girl was it for you. He/She was the love of your life. Why did this break up happen?!

The thing is that God knows your needs. And He is never too slow to provide that for you. He will end up revealing things to you about those things you thought needed. He even may reveal to you that it is Him you need more than anything else. He loves you. He knows what's best for you. And for whatever reason--this relationship was not what was best for you anymore. It was probably good for you at a time, but it's time to move on and God is telling you exactly that. 

God has everything in control. Again, He knows what is best for you. God will never close a door without having another one open for you. You just have to lean on Him and trust Him with your whole heart. Continue to praise Him even while making your way from one door to the next. He has bigger things planned for you. He will see you through this. Just you wait.

More Than Enough

Hey guys. It's been a while, huh?

A lot has happened since I last spoke with you all. I'm now a junior in college with only 3 1/2 more semesters to go before graduation (WHOA!), I am currently dating someone (someone that I like very much), my hair has grown out a bit, and much more. But rather that catch you up with all the boring details of my life, I'd like to talk about a something that has been on my heart for the past few days.

I think I'll start off with a story.

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I told you guys that I recently started dating someone. Well, a few weeks ago, we were hanging out at his place. We were teasing each other and jokingly, I told him that I was leaving and he couldn't make me stay. I stood up and began gathering my things, still teasing him. He wasn't saying much, just watching me. When I finally looked up at him and looked into his eyes, my heart stopped beating.

I had never seen someone look at me with as much emotion as he was at that moment. I felt tingly all over from his look and I was instantly overwhelmed. With life, with emotion, with everything. So I did what I do best. I left. I booked it out of there as fast as I could. I told him everything was fine and that I was just tired and that I would see him in the morning. He let me go.

On the way home, I sobbed. I couldn't get a handle on any of my emotions. I got home, put on sweatpants and a t-shirt and got in bed. And sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. My sister eventually came home from the high school football game and got in bed with me and talked through everything with me.

Skip to the next night. 

I was laying on his bed with him next to me. He asked me what happened last night. And I told him. With tears rolling down my cheeks I told him that I for a long time, I felt that I was never good enough for anybody to like...to even love. After two years of getting into so much drama and stress with guys, I just decided that I would never be good enough. And you know what he told me?

He said, "Kaitlyn, you are enough. You are beautiful in every way. There is nothing about you which I do not like. You're smart and funny and all around an amazing person. You are so enough. Don't ever believe that you aren't."

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His words have stuck with me since that night. And for the past few days they have resonated even stronger with me.

I look around me today and see girls who were like me. Who believe with every ounce of their being that they aren't enough for a guy to like them. It's all over social media and even out of it.

Why do we believe this? It is only Satan trying to pull us over to the dark side. But we don't want that. We want to be good. We want to stay by Christ and have His protection.

It's so easy to see ourselves as unworthy. As unloved. As not enough.

The thing is though, is that God believed and still believes that we are worthy of so much more than we think. He even believed it enough that He sent His only son to the cross to die for us and our sins.

If that doesn't show how much we are worth to Him, I don't know what does.

You see, we are enough. We are more than enough. We are so enough that Christ died for us.

So, please, don't ever think that you are unworthy or unloved. Because the truth is that you are worth more than you could ever imagine and you are loved beyond compare. 

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:6-8)

"For God so loved the world that He gave his only son, that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

(John 3:16)

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH.

Listen to this song. It speaks so much truth.

In His love. 

Unconditional

Hey guys! Its been a few weeks since I've posted anything but I've had a few things I wanted to share with you today. After returning home from school for the summer, I had a wedding photography job lined up for two close friends of mine. So, on Mothers Day, I took off for a beautiful afternoon of taking pictures.

And let me tell you...these pictures turned out so so well!! The amount of love between this couple was so raw and so photogenic that I bawled (a couple of times)! Here are a few of the pictures:

As you can see, these two love each other so, very much. I have watched their love grow from just starting to date to fiancées to now a married couple. To be quite honest, their love is the love I want with my future husband.

This brings me to my topic of the day: love.

I have told you guys before that ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted a love to rival the greatest loves of all time. I'm a true romantic at heart. I want someone to hold me, someone I can tell my fears and doubts to, someone to love me for who I truly am. I want that so much, that I let it consume me sometimes.

But I've already talked about myself in this category before, so let me talk about someone(s) else for a change.

You see, when I think of my future husband/relationship, all I see are my parents. That's right. My parents are my true inspiration for my relationships.

My parents, I feel, are the true definition of a Christ-like love. They love each other unconditionally...no matter how many times my dad annoys my mom or how crazy my mom seems to make my dad.

These guys have been married for 15+ years and their love continues to grow stronger and stronger with each passing year. I've witnessed firsthand all the ups and downs of their relationship.

They definitely have had their fights. I have been there for meltdowns, blow-ups, and just the general yelling. (And I may have even been the cause for some of those. Haha!)

But here's the thing...they forgive each other. No matter what. They don't let their fights define their relationship. They go back to each other and make up. No matter who is at fault or who "threw the first punch" (figuratively of course).

That's love, you guys.

I cannot begin to explain to you guys how inspired I am by these two. Throughout my life, they have taught me what true, real, raw love looks like. They have shown me that you must love God first before letting anybody else into your heart. Through them, I've seen that you must place God in the center of your relationship if you want it to go anywhere.

These two beautiful human beings have shown me all there is to know about love. I couldn't ask for two better role models for myself or my siblings.

Just as 1 Corinthians says, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

Remember, we all love because He first loved all of us. (1 John 4:19)

So, thank you, mom and dad, for showing me Who to turn to when times get tough and for being who you guys are. Thank you for showing me what true, Christ-centered love looks like and for inspiring me in my own relationships with others. I love you two so very much and couldn't ask for two better parents.

In His love. 

Sinner

I want to be honest with you guys for a few minutes. I feel that I owe you all that much.

I, Kaitlyn, am a full blown sinner.

Yeah, I admit it. I'm a sinner.

I curse. I'm ashamed to say this, but I do. (Especially while driving and when somebody cuts me off or like to tailgate me). I'm not proud of it and I work hard not to and to exchange those words for something else, but sometimes, it slips and I can't do anything but apologize for it.

I get jealous. Boy, do I get jealous. I'm a girl, so I find myself wishing for a slimmer body, manageable hair, whiter teeth, etc. I want to look like those girls on the covers of magazines.

I'm prideful. I would love to say that I'm not and that I'm as humble as I can be, but that would be lying and I can't do that.

I'm greedy. I want things or myself and don't wish to share them with others.

I'm a glutton. I love food. (People who know me, know how much I love food.) And I understand the horrors of waste of food, but there are times when I'd rather feed myself than the poor and hungry.

I am sometimes a sloth. There are moments when I just want to reject the grace God has given to me.

I experience moments of wrath. I'm a naturally emotional person. I can get angry very easily and very quickly if the wrong thing is said to me or about me.

And last, but not least, I'm lustful. That may be a strange thing for a girl to admit, but we can't deny it. I may not lust after men for sex, but I do lust after relationships and for love.

You see, just like everyone else, I sin. Every week. Every day.

But, here's the thing: even though I sin, I'm forgiven by the grace of my God.

Easter is coming up this Sunday.

Holy week is something of a big deal for me in my journey with Christ. I spend the week doing devotionals and reading my Bible. I tend to listen to only worship and praise and work on focusing my free time, praying and journaling. I watch and re-watch Passion of the Christ and start posting bible verse all over my room.

Easter is the time to celebrate God's grace. He clothed Himself in flesh and came down to this earth all to be put on a cross to die for our sins. We are cleansed from our mistakes and are forgiven for our sins.

His grace means that all of our mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.

I get chills every time I think about that.

This past week, I went through a mid-college crisis and broke down one night. I cried and cried and couldn't stop. I wanted life to stop. I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. It even came to the point where I almost picked up a knife. But I didn't.

I immediately texted a few friends about it and within ten minutes, I had people in my room, holding my hands, hugging me and making sure I was okay and sane enough to make it through the night. They dropped everything and came to me when I was in need.

I am so blessed by those relationships. The fact that they would put down whatever they were doing doing just to check on me and make sure I was safe means the world to me. Even though I sin and make mistake after mistake, they still care for me day after day.

(So thank you to those people--my people--who came to me that night. Thank you.)

So as Easter comes around the corner, let's remember a few things:

1. God loves us despite the fact that we fail Him everyday. He shows us this through His never ending grace. He sent His son to die for us. If that isn't everlasting and merciful love, I don't know what is.

2. God can transform a sin-stained soul into a masterpiece of grace. We are washed clean by His sacrifice and we are forgiven through His love. There is no greater thing in the word than this.

3. God loves us even in our darkest times (Romans 5:8).

4. Our sins are paid in full. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. We don't have to worry about our debt because Jesus paid it for us.

5. And most of all, death has been defeated by love.

Let me repeat that...

Death has been DEFEATED by love.

The darkness of the world...the worst thing that humans can experience has been vanquished and slain by God's everlasting love for us.

How amazing is that??

In His amazing, everlasting love.

Kindness

As many of you guys know, the season of Lent started this past Wednesday.

For those of you who don't know what Lent is, let me explain really quickly.

Lent is a season of sacrifice. We are supposed to "give up" something we love for forty days in order to grow closer to God. This can be anything in your life: from junk food to sarcasm. But the point is to focus more clearly of God and His promises for us. It's like a sort of fast for us. (Now, some people really do fast and give up all food during the day. But other denominations just give up a few small things or one big thing.)

Throughout the years I've given up many different things: social media, my phone, milk (if you know me, you know I absolutely LOVE milk), junk food and fast food. I've done it all.

But this year, I wanted to do something different. I didn't just want to give up something that I loved. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and do something completely out of the ordinary for me.

So, for Lent, I decided to be kind. That's right, for 40 days I'm going out of my way to be kind. I'm calling it 40 days of kindness. Everyday I pick someone or something and give a random act of kindness towards them/it.

Now, normally, I am a compassionate person. But I do just enough. I act kind when I should and only do it to a certain point. I don't normally go out of my way to act kind to people. (Which is actually very sad in my mind.)

So, I wanted to do more. I wanted to step away from my comfort zone and extend a hand to strangers (which, knowing me, I am very hesitant to do.)

And let me say, so far, it is going so very well. I feel so much happier and I have a more permanent smile on my face from these things that I'm doing.

Let me give you some examples:

This past Thursday, I had a lot laundry to do. So, I naturally took all my stuff to the laundry room and did my laundry. I hadn't decided on my act of kindness yet that day, but in the laundry room, I had an idea. I stayed in the laundry room and whenever a dryer would go off, I would take that student's clothes out of the dryer and fold them and place a short, sweet note on the top wishing them a great day.

A girl came in while I was doing this and asked me why I was folding all of her clothes. I quickly explained to her that I just wanted to do something nice for someone else. She had frowned and asked why I would take time out of my day to do such a thing. I then told her about my 40 days of kindness and when I was finished she began crying. She told me that she had just been having a rough week and didn't know what to do about it anymore. My folding of her clothes had just made her day/week and that she was so happy that there were still people in the world who took time to take care of others. She then gave me a long hug (which caused my to tear up) and took her clothes and left.

Another example was yesterday at work. I work as a media assistant in an elementary school and am taken care of by all the teachers there. So I thought it was time to give back. So, I went to the teacher work room with a couple dozen flowers and little note cards that thanked them and told them how fabulous they really are. I left the notes anonymously, but I heard teachers all throughout the day proclaiming how touched they were by the flowers and how thoughtful it was. It made me smile knowing that I could bring a smile to these women's faces.

And then this morning I went and bought my roommate breakfast and coffee because I knew she had been sick and just had a rough week in general. She didn't jump up and down or hug me but just murmured a soft thank you and ate her biscuit and drank her coffee. But even that short thanks made me smile because I knew she appreciated it and was surprised.

You see, I'm not doing this for the praise or for the thanks I get when I do these things. I do this because I feel like I am striving to be like Christ. I am not judging others based on appearance or actions; I am just doing it out of love for others.

1 John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us."

That is why I do this. God loved my first, so that enables me to love others.

And then Mark 12:31 says, "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Love your neighbor as yourself. Those words resonate deep within me. I am here on this earth to serve others and to spread the word of my God. While some people may not accept or appreciate the words of my Savior, I know they appreciate a random act of kindness. Loving my neighbors is a way in which I am honoring God.

Christ loved everyone. Not just the perfect Christians...not just the priests...not just His disciples. He loved the outcasts. He loved the ones everyone loved to hate. As a follower and daughter of the one true living God, I want to be like that. I want to become more like Jesus everyday.

This is what the 40 days of kindness is doing to me. It is changing me...shaping me into the person that I want to be and the person that God has called me to be.

So what is God calling you to do? Who is He calling you to be?

Good luck to everyone in this Lent season and don't forget to focus on our Father and His love for us.

In His love.

Thirsty

I know I'm not the only one to notice this, but recently, I have found that while on Facebook, I'm seeing more of my high school friends posting pictures of their engagement rings, weddings, and even of their first born child! Sometimes I see these things and think, Wait...I'm pretty sure that you were just as single as I am...what happened in just a few months?

(I want to go ahead and point out, that I'm not condemning those who are like this. You have your life to live and I'm not going to tell you how to live it. That's not why I'm here, writing this tonight.)

Let's face it. In the world we live in today, love moves fast. Really, everything seems to move fast. Text messages, emails, Google, etc. Basically, with the technology we have in our society, we begin to get to know people faster than we would if we still had to meet face to face or a phone call here and there.

I agree that texting people is much easier than calling them and asking them where they want to meet for dinner that night. It saves time. I also enjoy being able to Google an answer to a homework problem rather than sitting for hours trying to figure it out.

So, from the above observations, it's safe to assume that our relationships move a lot faster than normal as well. However, we can also say that the frequency of how often someone is in our lives won't change the capacity to develop a real, lasting bond with them any faster than usual.

Our society...our generation is setting off fireworks and grenades. Yes, it is beautiful and magnificent, but it only lasts a short while until it dissolves into smoke. And then, we are only left with memories.

With that said, we aren't allowing the time to actually build these relationships with each other. Instant gratification is inherent in our society and it is becoming increasingly noticeable in our relationships as well. We want the next best thing and are willing to toss behind the old like trash. That is not what we are supposed to do with those that we love.

I understand the concept of "when you know, you know", but I still believe that we should take our time in kindling a romance. Learn each other's quirks and flaws. Be best friends first. Then, take a stab at romance.

Here at school, a friend of mine and I have talked about the "thirstiness" of the students here. Everywhere I look, I see new relationships popping up out of nowhere. Especially in the freshman class. Within the first two weeks of school, freshman are already in "serious" relationships with other people at Berry. That's crazy.

I feel like, part of it is Berry's appeal to us. Berry identifies itself as a close knit group of students and faculty. I remember coming here during my senior year of high school and I just felt like Berry was selling love in a way. Like, it felt as if it promised you would find your one true love/soulmate while you were here in school.

So, I feel like the students here are looking for that long term relationship. They want that happily ever after.

And maybe, they'll get it. I'm not saying that it's not going to happen. I just want to issue a warning out there:

Urban dictionary describes being thirsty as having an eagerness or desperation for something.

I go around campus all the time, hearing:

"Girl, he's so thirsty. He's always up in my inbox trying to talk to me."

"Bro, don't get involved with her. She's just thirsty, trying to get with all these other guys as well as you."

Et cetera. Et cetera.

I'll admit, there are times when I have acted "thirsty" for some guy. But, ultimately, it doesn't work out. I feel like "thirsty" could be another word for clingy. And not many people are into clingy types.

So, how about instead of having a thirstiness for a soulmate or for love, let's have a thirstiness for Christ and for God?

I don't know about you, but I really want to be desperate for God. I want to love Him so boldly and without fear that others will begin to love Him too. I want to be vulnerable at His throne. I want to live a life that is filled with His mercy and His love for me. I want to be so into His Word, that people have to delve into it to find me.

So, in a way, being thirsty isn't a bad thing. It just depends on what you're thirsty for.

Just something to think about.

In His Love.