I am filled with the Holy Spirit tonight.
Today had been rough. I got up early to take a biology exam, and then was in class until five. I then worked on homework and papers and studied for tests until 8:30, even forgetting to eat dinner because I was so busy.
I was overwhelmed. I was hungry. I just wanted to go to sleep. I was done with the day.
My plan was to eat something real quick and then go to bed.
Well...plans change.
I decided to run down to the food court to grab something to eat and when I got outside, my breath was taken away. I looked up to the sky and found that it was a beautiful, clear night. The stars and moon were out and there wasn't a cloud to be seen.
I didn't think anything of it and continued to the food court to get dinner. There, I grabbed a decaf coffee, a granola bar and a bottle of water. I went back outside to my car and was once again floored at the beauty of the night.
That's when the plans changed.
I got into my car, put my top down and drove up to Mountain Campus. I blasted my Passion CD the way up there (I gave up worldly music for Lent) and tried to find some peace.
Once up there, I pulled into a dark parking lot, grabbed my star gazing pillow and blanket from the trunk and sat in the back of my car. I turned on Oceans by Hillsong and put it on repeat. Then, sat back, drank my coffee and watched the sky.
After about the third time the song head played, I began to feel lighter. Everything seemed to be clearer and I was even able to smile a bit. Warmth radiated throughout my body and I wasn't cold anymore.
By the fifth repeat, I began to cry.
God is immeasurably good to me. I don't know how to put into words how blessed I am by the Father. Recently, I've forgotten to pray to God in my times of trouble and to praise Him in the good times. I have been selfish and underserving of His love. And yet, He loves me still.
While I was sitting under the stars, so many verses and quotes came to mind.
"God is in the midst of her; she should not be moved." (Psalm 46:5)
"Be strong and courageous for the Lord you God goes with you."
"Be patient. God isn't finished with you yet." (Philippians 1:6)
"God will provide." (Philippians 4:19)
One in particular stayed with me while I sat up there:
"God's love is meteoric. His loyalty is astronomic; His purpose titanic; His verdicts oceanic. Yet, in His largeness, nothing gets lost; not a man, not a mouse slips through the cracks." (Psalm 36:10)
That verse is one of my new favorites. It captures everything that I felt tonight. I had been overwhelmed with the world and not concerned at all about my God. But here's the thing. God still loves me. You hear that?
God. Still. Loves. Me.
STILL.
How amazing is that? No matter what happens, God is and always will be there for me. His love is unconditional. I am breathless at the thought.
I can't iterate enough how blessed I am to have this life. God is so, so good to me. And He is so, so good to all of you. Let me leave you with a few sentences that I will tell myself every night.
May you find a moment of peace and quiet tonight to thank God for all that is right in your world. May you have the presence of mind to release your cares and worries to Him. May you have the gritty faith to grab a firmer grip on His promises to you. And may you wake up in the morning knowing that you've gained ground even during your sleeping hours because God is always moving on your behalf. As you entrust your whole self to Him today, He'll get you where you need to go tomorrow. Sleep well tonight.
He is faithful. Always.
