This mood is far different than the one I had a few nights ago.
That night, I wasn't happy, I wasn't peaceful and I wasn't feeling the Christmas cheer. I just wanted to lay in bed and sleep the darkness away.
I'm not going to lie...I have nights like that every other month or so. My brain mis-wires and I just shut down. Most of the time, my fiancé (yes! I am engaged! 💑) can't even be the one to comfort me. So, I end up locking myself in my own head until it all goes away.
Those nights are not fun. Not for me and especially not for him. I can't imagine what he feels like when there isn't anything he can do for me. And usually, I can't find anything to help myself either. It's an awful feeling..the helplessness...the darkness...all of it.
The morning after a night like that is usually much better. I'm in a better mood and I can feel things again. This particular morning, however, a Facebook post caught my eye...
And I lost it.
I wanted to run and hide and cry my eyes out because everything in that post was 100% true for me. The only problem? I couldn't hide from God.
This post talked about how we can shine as humans and how we must be broken in order to do so.
You see, we, as humans, are like glow sticks. We sit in our packaging, dark and uninteresting. We may be colorful, but those colors are dull, lifeless. Our potential is very low.
We aren't doing what we were created to do.
But imagine this: God takes you--a dark, boring glow stick--and breaks you. He breaks you to your very core. To the point where you are bruised, battered and cracked. Then, something amazing happens...
You begin to shine.
The light that has been hiding inside you all along begins to show. Starting from your core and spreading outward. You get brighter and brighter until all you do is shine.
Sometimes you have to break before you can shine.
God works in so many mysterious, but wondrous ways. He is always working. In you. Around you. For you. He is shaping and molding you into the person he created you to be. Don't push yourself away from Him. Allow Him to break you. Allow Him to place His hands on you so that you can live to your fullest potential.
You see, these dark nights in my life...those are just nights that I need to be broken again in order to shine. I just need to allow God to place His hands on me so that I can shine again.
My life has been a mess of highs and lows, but I am thankful for every single one of them. Without those moments in my life, I wouldn't be where I am today. I thank God every day for my journey and for Him putting me on it.
So, remember, don't be afraid to break every once in a while. You have to do it in order to shine.
In His Name.
