Dear You,
I hope you know how important you are in this crazy world. I hope you realize that no matter what is going on in life, you deserve so much better than you think. You are so freaking significant. You are just as significant in this search for love as the girl sitting next to you right now. Like I've told all young women, you deserve to be treated beyond your expectations. You don't deserve to be looked over and you definitely don't deserve to be unnoticed. You deserve way more than to just be noticed. by anyone. You deserve to search for more in a partner. You know what? You deserve someone who will make you happy to just be alive.
Guys, I want to be the first to tell you to date someone who makes you appreciate life. As humans in this messed up society, we throw away our check-lists. You know what I'm talking about. Those check-lists that you write when you are looking for a partner. The ones that say she should be "God-loving, smart, kind, humble, has a rad sense of humor, etc". We are throwing those lists away and are quickly replacing them with shallow standards. We only check off if they are good-looking. Maybe it's that they laugh at things with their whole heart, but those things may be far below our morals or intelligence. Maybe they really do love other people, but are struggling to love themselves. Maybe they are showing an optimistic outlook, but are more than likely looking in the mirror than out through the window.
Yo, what happened to standards? Like I told the ladies a week ago, our society is more focused on the shallow, worldly things than on the big picture. We are settling for partners who seem to be good for us rather than those who are God-chosen. We need to stop focusing on the shallow aspects of dating and instead, focus on looking for a partner who gives up a positive outlook on life and ourselves.
Guys, date someone who has traveled to far off places. Date someone who has stories and isn't afraid to share them. Date someone who has looked failure in the eye and who hasn't run away from it. Better yet, date someone who doesn't fear failure in her life. Date the person who would rather go on a weekend trip to the mountains (or the beach) than sit on the couch and not move for hours. Date someone who isn't afraid to get a little dirt under her nails. Better yet, date someone who isn't afraid to break a nail. Date that person who'd rather have a conversations with you than scroll through the latest Twitter or Facebook posts on her phone. Date that person who'd rather have a deep relationship with the Lord than someone who goes for the numbing effect of drugs or alcohol. Date someone who treats you like the wonderful, amazing human you are rather than someone who treats you as an object of sexual desire.
Guys, date someone who you can be yourself around; someone who makes you comfortable with you. Date someone who does not make you feel guilty for being your wonderful self but instead, celebrates it whenever they get the chance. Date someone who wants you to grow and will allow you to do that very thing. Date someone who is confident in dancing alone, but would rather dance with you. Date someone who makes you laugh; who makes you laugh loudly and with gusto. Date that person who you'd love to go on multiple road trips with; someone you won't get bored with. Date someone who, when facing difficult times, runs towards people rather than running away. Date someone who takes your opinion into account as much as they do their own. Date the person who treats the people behind the counter the same way they would treat the CEO of the business. Date the person who gets it. Date the person who knows who they are. Date the person who would be able to take on life without you by their side every second.
I've told girls this same thing: wait for the person who shows you that you are not the only one in the relationship. Wait for the one who makes you feel like you count. Wait for someone who makes you happy to be alive. Do not settle. Don't settle just because she looks good. Don't settle just because she makes you look good. Don't settle just because she makes all of your friends jealous. Don't settle just so that you can have someone to be with. When you were made in God's image, you were made so that you could be in relationships that were driven by love. Not lust. You are so loved by the Father that you deserve to have that perfect love to be reflected in a worldly relationship.
If your mother (or even your father) and your friends tell you that they don't like her, then something is probably off in your relationship with her. The saying that "love is blind" is so, so true. We are often blinded when we are infatuated with someone. Take a look at your life. If you trusted your loved ones' opinions before this relationship, then you should trust their opinions now, too. If there is a person in your life who has the courage and guts to tell you that you deserve better than her, please listen to them. More often than not, they are right. Sweetie, you deserve to feel loved and cherished, not just slightly appreciated by someone.
Guys, date that one who always says "thank you" when you open a car door for them. Date the one who doesn't just expect love, but in turn, gives it right back to you with as much vigor as you give her. Date the one who you'd be so freaking excited to dance with (no matter the music playing or not playing), to adopt a puppy with, to wake up on Christmas mornings with, to cry with, to sleep next to, to be with for the rest of your worldly life (not just someone to be with for the day, the month, the year). Date the one who doesn't make you fear the word "forever". Date the one you would marry. If you are currently dating someone whom you can't picture an eternity with, then you are completely missing out on the one you would.
Wait for that girl who will stand up, look your parents in the eyes and shakes their hands. Wait for the girl who is more focused on fixing her heart than her hair. Wait for the girl who's concern is focused on her soul rather than her body. Wait for the girl who encourages your goals and dreams. Wait for the girl who humbles you. Wait for the one who compliments you well. Wait for the girl who doesn't just make your Facebook or Instagram look good, but who makes your heart feel good. Wait for the one who listens to you as much as she can hold a conversation with you. Wait for the one who treats you as important in her life. Wait for the girl who can make you think. Wait for the one who considers life an adventure. Wait for the one who has a really good hold on life. Wait for the one who makes you happy that you are alive.
You know, wait for that girl who you'd be proud to be with; one that you would stand next to with a sign that read "This is her!". Wait for the one who refuses to collect expensive items and would rather collect deep friendships and stories. Wait for the one whom you would want your future daughter to be like.
Do not limit yourself for only brunettes or for short girls. Do not limit yourself only for girls who play soccer or for those that are tan. Set limits for those who are good; for those who don't run away from life but would rather embrace it; for those who are not afraid to mow the lawn or can change a tire by herself. Set limits for those who show good manners; for the ones that do not fear laughing at themselves. Limit yourself to those who give you a constant love. Limit yourself to the girl who makes you happy to be alive.
Guys, wait for the girl who chooses you; who chooses you over any other guy out there; who isn't at odds between you and another guy. Wait for the one who is seeking a lasting relationship with you, not someone who is just looking for a meaningless hook-up.
Sweetheart, you are worth so much more than a hook-up. You are worth more than you will ever understand.
Wait for the one who treats you like the superhero you are; not one who treats you like a sidekick. Wait for the one who doesn't fear loving you deeply and fully. Wait for the girl who treats you well and isn't afraid to show it. Wait for the one whom you'd want to introduce to your mother and your best friend at the exact same time.
Guys, wait for the girl who makes you happy that you are alive.
Love,
A girl Who Knows That You Deserve More
