Jealous

"I wish I could have her hair. It's so straight and perfect."

"Why can't my body look like hers?"

"He gets all the girls. Why can't I be more like him?"

"His car is so cool. I wish I had a car like that."

Did you know that a sin is a sin is a sin? We often forget that, in the eyes of God, sins are equal no matter what. We, as humans, put them into "smaller" and "greater" categories, with jealousy and comparison falling into the former while murder, theft, and adultery fall into the latter.

However, we must remember that all sin separates us from God. We don't want that. So, all sin needs to be taken seriously, no matter how severe or less severe we seem to find it.

I recently met up with my friend, Blake, at Starbucks to talk about my blog and his spoken word that he does. We wanted to find a way to incorporate a spoken word piece he wrote into one of my blog posts. We ended up talking a little about the sin of comparison and how rampant and rooted it is in our lives today.

After, going through some of the things that I did in the past, I came out with a lot more self-confidence than I used to have. I'm not so worried about who I am or what I do. However, the sin of comparison is definitely still in my life. Thinking about it after the talk Blake and I had, I realized how guilty I am of comparison, or envy and jealousy.

I may be secure in my looks and in my personality, but I will find myself comparing myself to others in the classroom. I ask myself why the girl who sits beside me in class got a better grade than me when she barely studied while I spent an entire week studying. I find myself comparing myself to others in the gym. How can he spend 45 minutes running at a steady pace when I have to take a breather every 30 minutes? No matter how much self-confidence you may have, I believe that we all fall victim to comparison and jealousy.

This sin of comparison is killing us.

That's right. Killing us.

We use comparison like a measuring stick. We assess our own worthiness to others' victories and/or failures. We beat ourselves and others down with it.

I recently discovered a way to describe comparison: It's a thug. It robs your joy. But it's more than that. It makes you a thug who beats down somebody--or your own soul.

The thing about measuring sticks is that we use it to rank people as either big or small. Truth is: we aren't sizes. We are souls. We are God-made souls and because of that, we defy measurements from others and from ourselves. There is no bigger soul nor is there a smaller soul. So there is no point in trying to compare ourselves to others or others to ourselves.

When we walk through life with this measuring stick, our eyes get so small that we can no longer see God.

Here's something to remember:

You were created with intention. Those flaws that we see in ourselves? Those little imperfections that we wish to fix? Yeah....they aren't flaws to God.

When we continuously berate ourselves and pick at our flaws and others' flaws, we are missing the opportunity to bring glory to God by lifting others up.

I also read some advice about defeating the sin of comparison:

Whenever you find yourself comparing your flaws to others, go right up to that person and compliment them on the very thing you are jealous of. Tell them congrats on getting an A on the test. Tell them that you love their hair. Tell them that it's awesome with what they do in the gym.

When we turn comparisons into ways to build people up, the devil loses and God wins.

Blake talks in his spoken word ("Just Be Yourself"--click to watch the video!), about how there's a wish to go back to a time when comparisons didn't happen. When innocence was running rampant and we didn't care who owned what or who had the best hair or eyes or clothes or cars.

One of my favorite verses from his spoken word is: "We should celebrate the fact that we're all so uniquely diverse and actually start to converse; so we can learn about each other as well as learn from one another and celebrate our differences."

He hits it right on the mark. We should celebrate our differences.

My battle cry for this week will be the same thing morning, noon and night:

Boys and girls RIVAL each other. Men and women REVIVE each another. 
Boys and girls EMPALE each another. Men and women EMPOWER each other.
Boys and girls COMPARE each other. Men and women CHAMPION each other. 

Let's not be people who compare each other; let's be people who champion each other.

Like Blake says:

"It's your story. It's the life you've been given. So, celebrate every day, enjoy every second your liven'...We need to be happy by being ourselves...to be cool, simply, just be yourself."

[A big thank you to Blake, who sat down with me to help get rid of my writer's block and to talk about life. Go check out his other cool spoken words on his YouTube Channel: AsToldByGingerSnap.]

In His Love.

Thirsty

I know I'm not the only one to notice this, but recently, I have found that while on Facebook, I'm seeing more of my high school friends posting pictures of their engagement rings, weddings, and even of their first born child! Sometimes I see these things and think, Wait...I'm pretty sure that you were just as single as I am...what happened in just a few months?

(I want to go ahead and point out, that I'm not condemning those who are like this. You have your life to live and I'm not going to tell you how to live it. That's not why I'm here, writing this tonight.)

Let's face it. In the world we live in today, love moves fast. Really, everything seems to move fast. Text messages, emails, Google, etc. Basically, with the technology we have in our society, we begin to get to know people faster than we would if we still had to meet face to face or a phone call here and there.

I agree that texting people is much easier than calling them and asking them where they want to meet for dinner that night. It saves time. I also enjoy being able to Google an answer to a homework problem rather than sitting for hours trying to figure it out.

So, from the above observations, it's safe to assume that our relationships move a lot faster than normal as well. However, we can also say that the frequency of how often someone is in our lives won't change the capacity to develop a real, lasting bond with them any faster than usual.

Our society...our generation is setting off fireworks and grenades. Yes, it is beautiful and magnificent, but it only lasts a short while until it dissolves into smoke. And then, we are only left with memories.

With that said, we aren't allowing the time to actually build these relationships with each other. Instant gratification is inherent in our society and it is becoming increasingly noticeable in our relationships as well. We want the next best thing and are willing to toss behind the old like trash. That is not what we are supposed to do with those that we love.

I understand the concept of "when you know, you know", but I still believe that we should take our time in kindling a romance. Learn each other's quirks and flaws. Be best friends first. Then, take a stab at romance.

Here at school, a friend of mine and I have talked about the "thirstiness" of the students here. Everywhere I look, I see new relationships popping up out of nowhere. Especially in the freshman class. Within the first two weeks of school, freshman are already in "serious" relationships with other people at Berry. That's crazy.

I feel like, part of it is Berry's appeal to us. Berry identifies itself as a close knit group of students and faculty. I remember coming here during my senior year of high school and I just felt like Berry was selling love in a way. Like, it felt as if it promised you would find your one true love/soulmate while you were here in school.

So, I feel like the students here are looking for that long term relationship. They want that happily ever after.

And maybe, they'll get it. I'm not saying that it's not going to happen. I just want to issue a warning out there:

Urban dictionary describes being thirsty as having an eagerness or desperation for something.

I go around campus all the time, hearing:

"Girl, he's so thirsty. He's always up in my inbox trying to talk to me."

"Bro, don't get involved with her. She's just thirsty, trying to get with all these other guys as well as you."

Et cetera. Et cetera.

I'll admit, there are times when I have acted "thirsty" for some guy. But, ultimately, it doesn't work out. I feel like "thirsty" could be another word for clingy. And not many people are into clingy types.

So, how about instead of having a thirstiness for a soulmate or for love, let's have a thirstiness for Christ and for God?

I don't know about you, but I really want to be desperate for God. I want to love Him so boldly and without fear that others will begin to love Him too. I want to be vulnerable at His throne. I want to live a life that is filled with His mercy and His love for me. I want to be so into His Word, that people have to delve into it to find me.

So, in a way, being thirsty isn't a bad thing. It just depends on what you're thirsty for.

Just something to think about.

In His Love.

Faithful

In my life, I have had a lot of challenges growing up at a devout Christian. People were always ready to tear me down; ready to berate me for my beliefs. Those people were part of the causes that led to my depression and rebelliousness against the Christian beliefs while I was in high school. I had never realized how much opposition there was towards the Christian faith until then.

Since then, I've grown much stronger in my faith. That's not to say that I don't have struggles anymore. Cause I do. I still encounter people who want to challenge my beliefs and who want to tear me down till I'm nothing but dust.

What I want to talk about, today, however, is how I've been able to keep my faith in Christ as strong as it is and what it's like being one of Christ's disciples. Let me tell you, though, it isn't easy. It takes a lot of dedication and willpower.

College is a completely new adventure. We, as students, must learn new time-management skills, face new challenges, make brand new friends (all the while trying to keep up with the old ones), and make good grades. Those things are all very important and necessary in a college career. (It personally took me a lot of time and a couple of mistakes to realize that those things, while important, are not the biggest priority.

I had to learn how to stand up for what I believe it...even when that meant I was standing alone. Now, I am not ashamed of the gospel or for what I believe in, but in a society where being "cool" and "wild" is in style, keeping the faith in college can be a real mudslide of fear and intimidation.

So, let me share some things to help you (and me!) keep up our faith in college and beyond.

Journaling

"Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day." (Psalms 25:4-5)

Second semester of my freshman year, I found that keeping a journal helped me keep a firm stance in my beliefs. It keeps me in touch with my emotions and helps me remain in touch with God at all times.

When journaling, it doesn't matter what you write in, whether it be a fancy, moleskin notebook, a spiral notebook, or a notes app on your phone. Just make it an easily accessible way to write down your thoughts at any time in any place. (I also use my blog as a way to keep in touch with everything. You can use this idea or even make a private blog that only you can read!)

Now, I always find myself reaching for my journal when something is weighing on my mind. When I am able to write this burden onto paper, I feel that it has been partially released from me and my shoulders begin to feel lighter. It doesn't act permanently, but it allows me to focus on other things, such as homework or work, rather than letting it control my thoughts, ultimately distracting me from anything else that is of importance.

When we write, we are usually more engaged and more focused on whatever it is we are doing. We tend to be able to finish our thoughts when writing rather that leaving it mid thought. This is also just a time set apart for God and for God only. None of it has to be formal or fancy or eloquent. It just needs to capture what's on your heart at that moment in time.

(It's also pretty cool to look back at past journals and see how God was working in and through your heart and life!)

"Jesus Time"

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

As college students, we have very busy lives. Our days are filled with sports, classes, homework, meals, clubs, intramurals, etc. In the midst of this chaos, it can be hard to find time to spend with Christ. I mean, do you set apart time for praying, reading, praising, or in fellowship with others during the day, night, the weekend, weekday or everyday?

Being in a relationship with Christ takes time and effort. He is always available for us to come talk to Him, but as humans, we are agents of free will and it is up to us to accept or decline that invitation on a daily basis.

Here are some examples of ways to set apart your own "Jesus Time":

• Start a bible study with a group of friends
• When working out, instead of listening to music, listen to church sermons.
• Set apart a set time that is dedicated only to reading your Bible and spending time in prayer. 
• Find time to meet with (or Skype) with friends to talk about God and other things going on in your heart. 
• Create a Pinterest board that is dedicated to Bible verses and other Christian thoughts for those days when you just need a faith boost.

Devotionals

"So then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17)

The amount of devotionals I have done in the past year is crazy. I have found so many different ones that relate to so many different topics that help me in my faith. In fact, I'm working on three different ones right now. There's a daily one that I sit down at night and complete (it takes me about 5-10 minutes); a weekly one right now called "The Disciple--A Journey with God" that I do every Tuesday night (it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour); and then a monthly one called "Seven" (I read a little bit from this one every other day or so). And after I finish those, I have another one ready to go called "If Jesus Were a Sophomore--Discipleship for College Students". 

Devotionals are a great way to keep your faith strong. Once you find a devotional you want to work through, take about thirty minutes a day to sit down with your bible and that book and focus on what it's telling you. Some devotionals may by daily, some may be weekly, some monthly. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you take time to sit down and really meditate on His Word. 

Keeping the faith in college is definitely a challenge. You have to leap through many different obstacles in order to stay strong. You also must be willing to stand up for your beliefs even when nobody is willing to stand up with you. To keep your faith, you must maintain good habits and sustain yourself in His presence and His words. 

At the end of the day, your heart will remain in His peace.

In His Love.

Friend

Let me start off by saying that this past weekend has been one for the history books. My college won our first game EVER. That's right. Second official season with a football team and we finally win a game in overtime.

This weekend was also the biggest weekend of the year at my school. It was our founder, Martha Berry's birthday and Berry College celebrates it BIG. We have Olympic games between all of the dorms and housings, we have talent shows, sports games, a Grand March up on Mountain Campus, picnics, and a carnival we like to call Marthapalooza. All in all, it was a fantastic weekend. I woke up this morning with no voice and a headache like no other, but it was definitely worth it.

What I wanted to talk about tonight, though, is something that has been on my mind for a while. I haven't found a time when I really wanted to post about it, because other stuff ended up coming before it, but I feel that tonight is as good a time as any.

So, let's talk about friendships.

Yeah, I know it's a strange thing to talk about on a blog, but trust me, it's way more important than you realize.

Being a girl in college, I know that friendships are very important to keep and maintain. These people will most likely by your life long friends--people who will be there for your wedding, your children, everything that happens after college. I feel that I have definitely met some of those people while at Berry.

But I want to talk about what it means to be a Christian and how that plays into your friendships with others.

I have a good number of friends who are either atheist or part of another religion. And I'm completely cool with that. Those people are my friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I can talk to them about my problems and they can talk to me about theirs.

The trick is to not spout my beliefs on them every chance I get. I don't want to force people into Christianity. That's not what we're supposed to do. Jesus told us to love one another as we love ourselves. So, that's what I do.

I love on my friends. I support them, encourage them, listen to them, talk to them. I don't spite them for their beliefs. That would just make me a hypocrite and a liar. And I don't want to be either.

My pastor from back in my home town put in a great perspective. We don't have to love the sin, but we do have to love the person. I may not be particularly happy or supportive of my friends' beliefs in atheism or gay rights, but I do love on them and show them Christ's love through my friendship with them.

I'm not saying that all friendships will be easy going, though. I have people who have dropped me as their friend because of my beliefs before. And, yes, it hurts. A lot. But God carries me through the storms.

I've also had Christian friends drop me because of other reasons. Especially this summer, I had a few people who unfriended me on Facebook and Twitter and everything else. These were people whom I considered to be some of my very best friends throughout junior high and high school. It broke me to find out that they didn't want to be friends with me anymore, but obviously, God had reasoning behind it, so I let it happen.

No, I don't know what's going on with these people now. I don't see them and don't talk to them anymore. It hurts sometimes, yes. Somedays I find myself remembering all of the fun times we used to have in high school, and then I would realize that we just grew apart and didn't walk in the same circles anymore.

What I'm trying to say, is that friends will leave you. They will. But, God has a plan for all of us. He puts people in out lives for a reason and He takes them out for a reason. We may never know what that reason my be, but we do know that God's got this under control.

I also want to point out that while we love our friends, we must love our enemies as well. In Matthew, chapter 5, Christ tells us: "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

I have people who I would love to hate. Literally, would love to hate. And sometimes I let myself hate them. But then, I start to thaw out and realize that God would not want me to hate them. And I can't hate them.

I need to show people the love of Christ and to do that, I must love my enemies even when they do not love me.

I have a friend who, recently, I haven't been a good friend to. He and I ended up at odds against one another and the whole thing blew up. I found out he lied about a lot of things and I wasn't a very nice person to him about it. I shouldn't have said certain things to/about him, as I said them in anger, hurt and retaliation. He had told me he was struggling spiritually and I wasn't being thoughtful towards him about that. We aren't talking anymore, and as we used to be very good friends, it hurts me to have him dropped from my life like that.

Christ also tells us in Ephesians 4:26: "In your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

Do not let anger cloud your judgement when in arguments with friends or enemies. Take a deep breath and think about what God would want you to do. Go back to the old school saying: WWJD. (What Would Jesus Do?)

Friendships are important to us as human beings. We are social creatures. We like to interact with others. As humans, we are built for other human contact.

So make friends. Enjoy life. Just remember that "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hat your enemy,' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you." (Matthew 5:43-44).

In His love.