Surrenderer

"Nothing is impossible.
Every chain is breakable.
With You, we are victorious."

I am in awe.

Let me repeat that...

I. Am. In. Awe.

This past Thursday night, Berry had another concert on campus. Now, I love me a good Berry concert. It's free, fun and an all out party most of the time. This past Thursday was all that and more.

Rend Collective came to Berry. That's right...the most amazing Irish Christian band was on our campus. I've loved Rend Collective for the past year or so after discovering their music on Spotify. To hear that they were coming to Berry put me in all kinds of hysterics. I was beyond excited.

Now, Berry hyped up this event. They put up posters, sent out e-vites on Facebook and sent out emails. The entire campus was buzzing about this concert. I had made up my mind to get there early to get good seats as it was by general seating only on a first come, first serve basis.

Boy, was that a fabulous idea.

My group and I were able to get front row seats. Talk about a perfect night!

The concert was simply breathtaking. I got to experience God blow up in the college chapel that night. He was all over that room and I saw Him blow through each student present at that concert.

Which leads me to what I really wanted to talk about: Surrendering yourself to God.

Rend Collective allowed me to pour out everything I was feeling and to give it to the hands of my Savior. Their lyrics aren't just normal, cliche Christian lyrics. They really do speak to you in a way you never knew before. One of my favorite songs by them is their song "More than Conquerors".

It honestly just powers me up and just puts a fire in my heart and soul for my God. (To listen to this song click here.) I could listen to it all day long.

This song resonates deep in me and I willingly surrender everything to Him.

Their music hypes me up and you can listen to their album Art of Celebration here.

That's really all I wanted to say. I am overwhelmed by the new mercies God hands me everyday and so very thankful for each day of this life that I live. Thanks Berry, for giving me the experience of a lifetime!

In His love.

Joyful

"Enjoy the little things in life because one day you will look back and realize that they were the big things." (Robert Brault)

"You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you." (Andy Warhol)

"I think it is important that you find little things in everyday life that makes you happy." (Paula Cole)

"It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones." (Jean Webster)


I have been told over and over again to appreciate the small things in life. That while the big things will matter, it's those little things that happen everyday that are really worth noticing.

After going to Africa for those ten days, I began to notice the small things. I began to appreciate running water and the easy access of transportation. I thanked God for food and shelter and clothes and all those small things that I used to take for granted.

However, recently, I have found that I haven't been doing that. I've been frustrated with life. I don't find blessings in my every day life. I want everything to be perfect. (Which is downright silly, because we don't live in a perfect world.) I want to be able to go to class and work without being exhausted at the end of the day. I want to be able to fit in my workout, my homework, a social life, Netflix, editing my novel, and a decent amount of sleep without feeling overwhelmed. I just want everything to balance out just right.

But, of course, that won't happen without my sacrifice of a few things.

Just recently, I feel like I don't have time for everything I want to do. Everything is just pressing down on my shoulders and I feel like I'm about to break.

Recently, though, I've been seeing things happen in my life that I can only thank God for.

Over the weekend, I was able to go out and get breakfast with my roommate and we got to talk about everything from boys to Africa/Haiti to classes to funny stories from high school. I had forgotten how much I love sitting and talking with her. I had taken living with her for granted and I'm so happy I was able to spend that time with her on Saturday.

I also got to spend a good hour talking about life with another good friend of mine here at school. She was able to make me smile and laugh and brought out more blessings in my life.

I've been able to wake up for the sunrise for the past few days and let me say, God did not disappoint. Each one was great and made me grateful to live on such a beautiful campus.

I made a decision on my internship for next summer. This decision has been sitting on my shoulders for a very long time and I am so happy and relieved to have narrowed it down immensely.

Finally, today, I went to Publix with a friend so she could get some food. While there, I was walking down an isle and saw this oatmeal that I used to love as a kid. (It's the dinosaur egg oatmeal. You know, the one where the hot water makes the eggs "hatch" into little candy dinosaurs.) I mean, this oatmeal was my all time favorite. You could obviously see my love for living creatures when I was small.

This oatmeal, right here, is the bomb-dot-com.

But, anyway, when I saw this oatmeal, I almost broke down into tears in the middle of the store. Yeah, I almost cried in the middle of the cereal isle at Publix. I was that happy to see that oatmeal.

When we finally got back to our dorm, I went into my room, sat down on the floor, and just looked at this box of oatmeal. This time, I really did start crying. And not the small tears either. These were large balls of water rolling down my cheeks. I sobbed uncontrollably for a good ten minutes, looking at these packets filled with oats and dino eggs.

It was in those minutes, as I sobbed on the floor in my room, that I realized how happy I am for the little things in life. I am beyond blessed in my life and all it took was a box of kid's food to help me realize that.

So yeah, don't take the little things for granted. Focus on each good little thing and you will eventually find the big things. And remember, God is always here to help you through it all.

In His love.

Chaser

Let me officially say, welcome to a new year.

I know that it has been a while since I posted last and I would vehemently apologize for it, but the thing is, I enjoyed some time off from this blog. I got to spend it with family and friends and was able to enjoy myself for a month or two.

But, I am back now, and I cannot wait to start posting more!

So, what better way to start off this new year then by talking about what it means to move forward in life rather than being stuck in a moment.

Let's talk about what it means to be "chasing daylight".

This morning, I woke up super early (like 6 am early...and it's a holiday!!) so I could sit outside on my porch and watch the sunrise. I grabbed my cup of coffee, my bible and my journal and settled in for a good, long talk with my Creator. Little did I know, that my life and goals were about to change for the better.

One of my New Years resolutions was to (once again) read the bible from start to finish. I've done it once before about 4-5 years ago and thought why not do it again, now that I have a better understand of who God is in my life.

So I started off in the book of Deuteronomy, in chapter 30. (This is where I had left off the other night while reading.) I got to a particular passage in this chapter and let me just say, I was blown away. Here is the passage:

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 

"But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long....

"...Now choose life, so that you and your children may live...For the Lord is your life..." (Deuteronomy 30: 15-20)

In this passage, God is pointing to two different paths. One will be a journey that parts ways from Him and the other leads to a journey in which He will part the way. One points to death, the other points to life.

There are three words I would like to focus on, though. Three words that are passed on from God to us, His people: "Now choose life".

Those words are life-changing to me. God isn't just telling me to live a life focused on Him and His word. He is telling me:

"Kaitlyn, you were born to live a great adventure; you were created with a divine destiny; You are called to fulfill a great mission. You were designed, by Me, for a unique purpose. Now, you are called to live it out."

In those words from before, God is telling us that right now, in this moment, put away the baggage from the past, shake ourselves free from the fear of the future unknown. Right now, choose life--seize divine moments.

To relive the past is to relinquish the future. If you are willing to let go of the past, then you are ready to step into the future. When you choose to remain stuck in a moment, you become incapable of seizing divine moments.

This morning, during my quiet time with God, I found that I want to stop living in the past. I want to stop reliving moments over and over again, wondering what I could have done differently to avoid some regretful actions and decisions. I want to move forward. I want to dare to look into the future. And if the future scares me, then I'll just take it one moment at a time. 

We were designed to move forwards in time, never to move backwards, nor to stay stuck in a moment. We were designed to chase the daylight--to chase our futures and to chase our dreams. 

I want to be a chaser.

So, here's a question for you:

In your moment of truth, what will you choose? Will you choose the wilderness or the adventure? Have you confused the blessing of God with wealth, comfort, and security? Have you considered that God's greatest gift to you is that He calls you to be a pioneer, explorer, and even creator?

There are things God does for you and things that God waits for you to do. The journey begins when you choose. Stop wasting daylight. Choose a life of meaningful adventure. When you do, you will live in the epicenter of God's activity.

In His love.

Alive

Take a deep breathe in. Now breathe out.

God is active in your life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

God is active in your life.

In. Out.

God is active.

Every single breath you take is a gift from God--a deliberate act of God's will to give you one more breath of life...and another...and another.

God's not done with you yet.

Look all around you! Look at the life existing throughout our world! Marvel at the mountains, embrace the beauty of the trees, and look at the people. See the people? Oh my gosh, there are so many people. Children and elderly; black and white; singles and couples. There's life and there's beauty--diversity and unity. (And you know, what?) It's ALL good!! And, all good things come from God!

Breathe In. Breathe Out.

God's goodness is all over the world we live in. But, the sad thing is that, through the cracks, evil is allowed to seep through. Dark clouds rise over the world. The darkness rules these places and as a result, our visions start to blur. It can even get to the point when we are having trouble seeing the light--the magnificent, marvelous light of God.

Bad things happen in this world.

Depression. Abuse. Death. Divorce. Betrayal. Rejection. Grief.

Suffering is a part of our lives. As human beings, we a forced to experience such things because, sadly, we do not live in a perfect world.

Trust me, life gets rough. It gets hard to push through it sometimes. Some days I just want to escape from it all, but I can't. I just can't run away from life. It doesn't work like that. I have to push through it and keep on living my life.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

There it is: another gift from God.

Now, we know all good things come from God, but for some reason, God allows all those bad things to happen (even though He never starts it). I mean, we can go ahead and shake our fists at Him and ask Him why He would do such a thing to us, but honestly, that would accomplish nothing. However, there's another option: we can submit ourselves to His glory and hold on tight to His promises of goodness and love.

One day (when the time is just right), He will penetrate this awful darkness and His light will shine upon our weak and fallen bodies. And we will realize that every pain and every struggle we encountered in the dark abyss of the world was NOTHING compared to the glory we will experience with God.

We're human. We're going to experience intense struggle. There's no doubt about that. But, we should remember that every single excruciating moment is stuffed full of meaning. We are alive and God is working in us. We can't ever forget that.

"Let everything that has breath..."

Breathe in.

"Praise the Lord."

Breathe out.

Content

"Love is a strange thing. Love is a phenomenon of the human experience that even science cannot begin to explain. The idea that two people who are meant to be together will actually find each other among the 7+ billion people in the world is absurd. But love is love when you find the person with whom you're "meant to be". There is a lot of truth behind the cliche "meant to be". God has someone picked out for you, me, her, him, your best friend, and Drake. The hardest part isn't finding the person. The hardest part is being patient because God already has found the person. Actually, God has already created the person. We get so impatient sometimes, as the thirst consumes us, but our future better halves are in the same struggle we are because they're waiting too. So when it comes to relationships, this is what I've learned to be true: where you're headed is way more important than how fast you arrive. Direction triumphs over speed every time. God's got your back. He knows where you're going, what job you'll have, and what godly person He has waiting for you. And when God's ready, He'll show ya. 

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 


God has your plan already laid out. All you have to do is follow God, and He will lead you where you are meant to go."

-Blake Phillips-

Let's be honest. I'm a person who likes to live out her days planned step by step. I like to know what's going on and what's going to happen. I don't necessarily like anything unplanned and I shudder at the thought of unexpected events happening throughout my day. I have a schedule of goals for the day and I like to stick to it. Nothing is out of place.

But, not all my days work out like I want them to. My entire schedule falls apart and I'm struggling like crazy to put it back together. It's those days that I believe in God's sense of humor. As He places an unexpected moment in my day, He wants to see how I handle it. He wants to see if my patience can withhold His surprises.

When God wants me to be patient, He provides me things that DEMAND patience. 

So, obviously, when it comes to my romantic life, God really wants me to be patient. I mean, he really wants me to be patient. 

What is patience anyway? 

Patience is the ability to endure. It is the capacity to be wronged and NOT RETALIATE.

So, I bet you're wondering why I'm talking about patience and my nonexistent romantic life. You see, in college, I feel that society expects us to find that significant other. You know what I'm talking about. Society wants us to find the one who is "meant to be" with us. While some of us may have found that already, there are still a lot of us who struggle with the idea of a soulmate to do life with. 

Take me, for example. I've told you in posts before that I have been single for quite some time now. I've been out on dates. I've had and still have crazy crushes. I've had short relationships with a few guys (nothing that lasted longer than a few months). I've never had my first real kiss. 

There are days that I struggle with being single. I long for someone to live my life with. I want that connection. I want someone I can give my heart to and have him give his to me. That want will never go away. I already know this. But, that doesn't mean I have to live my life with bitter resentment as others find their significant other. 

I know that God has someone out there waiting for me. (Or maybe, He doesn't. Maybe, He wants me to serve Him in my singleness. I won't know until it happens.)

This is where patience and contentment comes in to play. We must learn to be patient and content with where we are in life at this moment and God's glory will be revealed to us. Take a look at chapter four of the book of Philippians. This is such a great passage on focusing on contentment in your life.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

Pray. Do not be anxious. The two verse above tell us all we need to know about contentment. God has got a handle on this. He has that perfect person for you in mind. In fact, this perfect person is already created by Him. Your soulmate is already walking the Earth, waiting to meet you (or maybe they already have, you just don't know it yet).

Contentment in our lives just goes back to trusting in God's ultimate plan. His way is perfect and we must put our faith and trust in that. We have the unwavering, unconditional love of God to sustain us for the rest of our days. How can we question that? That's just it; we can't. 

I found this quote the other day that put everything I think about my single life into perspective:

"Sometimes, it takes learning how to be perfectly lonely, just so God can show you what being PERFECTLY LOVED feels like."

This is so true to our lives. God never stops loving us. His love is perfect. We just need to take a step back in order to see that. 

So, whether you are in a loving relationship, married or are living out your days still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, remember to be content in your lives. God has a perfect plan for each and every one of us. He has the perfect person picked out for us and will be there for us when we meet him/her. 

My friend, Blake, shaped this idea in a great way. God, in a way, is our wingman. No matter the circumstances, God is always on our side and has our backs in the highs and lows. 

Before signing off on this post, let me leave you with one more verse. This one is found in chapter 8 of the book of Romans and I feel that it perfectly sums up this post:

"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

In His Love.

Superhero

In my last post, I talked about the sin of comparison and of jealousy. I realized (with some help from a friend), a few days later, that I only discussed the evils of the sins. Now, inherently, all sins are evil. That's something that we cannot argue. However, for a little while, I want to discuss the differences between jealousy and admiration, between unhealthy comparisons and healthy comparisons, between idols and role models.

In order to move forward in our spiritual growth, we, as Christians, need to appreciate the value of a role model.

We are called to emulate others ("Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example." -Philippians 3:17), even as they sought to emulate Christ ("I am so glad that you always keep me in your thoughts, and that you are following the teachings I passed on to you." -1 Corinthians 11:1).

Now, you may be wondering why we are commanded to imitate others. It's probably because, as humans, we are natural imitators. As children, we pick up on our parents' mannerisms and begin to imitate them. As teenagers, we (whether good or bad) seek to imitate our peers and those celebrities we hold in high regard. Then, as Christians, we usually seem to imitate those people we hold in high regard (such as preachers or elders).

However, we should look at the value of role models, as we are supposed to be careful with whom we imitate.

We are supposed to look at good role models. These are people who:

1. By example, show us what is possible.

        An example of this is of John who, in the book of Mark, was called a son of thunder (Mark 3:17) and then, as time goes on, grows and matures into an apostle of love (1 John 4:7-8).

2. By example, each us how to reach the same goals. Goals such as:

         a. enjoying a relationship with God. ("Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me--everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." -Philippians 4:9)
   
         b. remaining steadfast in the midst of trials. ("That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So, we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

You see, there is a difference between being jealous of someone and admiring them.

Let's go back to my friend, Blake. He loves Eminem. Is he jealous of Eminem? No. Does he want to be Eminem? No. He says that he and Eminem "use the skill of rhyming in different ways and stand for different ideals. But I still compare myself to him because it makes me better".

Choose to imitate someone who makes you a better you. That's what makes for healthy comparisons.

I like to use the term superhero to describe my role models. They are my superheroes--the people I look up to for my faith, my relationships, and a lot of my life. They are people who, while I was in my depression, were the ones to encourage me and to lift me out of the dark hole I had dug myself in to.

So, whether you are a "superhero" to someone else or you find a "superhero" in someone else, just remember:

Admiration is productive. Jealousy is destructive. 

Choose love. Choose life. Choose positivity.

In His Love.

Jealous

"I wish I could have her hair. It's so straight and perfect."

"Why can't my body look like hers?"

"He gets all the girls. Why can't I be more like him?"

"His car is so cool. I wish I had a car like that."

Did you know that a sin is a sin is a sin? We often forget that, in the eyes of God, sins are equal no matter what. We, as humans, put them into "smaller" and "greater" categories, with jealousy and comparison falling into the former while murder, theft, and adultery fall into the latter.

However, we must remember that all sin separates us from God. We don't want that. So, all sin needs to be taken seriously, no matter how severe or less severe we seem to find it.

I recently met up with my friend, Blake, at Starbucks to talk about my blog and his spoken word that he does. We wanted to find a way to incorporate a spoken word piece he wrote into one of my blog posts. We ended up talking a little about the sin of comparison and how rampant and rooted it is in our lives today.

After, going through some of the things that I did in the past, I came out with a lot more self-confidence than I used to have. I'm not so worried about who I am or what I do. However, the sin of comparison is definitely still in my life. Thinking about it after the talk Blake and I had, I realized how guilty I am of comparison, or envy and jealousy.

I may be secure in my looks and in my personality, but I will find myself comparing myself to others in the classroom. I ask myself why the girl who sits beside me in class got a better grade than me when she barely studied while I spent an entire week studying. I find myself comparing myself to others in the gym. How can he spend 45 minutes running at a steady pace when I have to take a breather every 30 minutes? No matter how much self-confidence you may have, I believe that we all fall victim to comparison and jealousy.

This sin of comparison is killing us.

That's right. Killing us.

We use comparison like a measuring stick. We assess our own worthiness to others' victories and/or failures. We beat ourselves and others down with it.

I recently discovered a way to describe comparison: It's a thug. It robs your joy. But it's more than that. It makes you a thug who beats down somebody--or your own soul.

The thing about measuring sticks is that we use it to rank people as either big or small. Truth is: we aren't sizes. We are souls. We are God-made souls and because of that, we defy measurements from others and from ourselves. There is no bigger soul nor is there a smaller soul. So there is no point in trying to compare ourselves to others or others to ourselves.

When we walk through life with this measuring stick, our eyes get so small that we can no longer see God.

Here's something to remember:

You were created with intention. Those flaws that we see in ourselves? Those little imperfections that we wish to fix? Yeah....they aren't flaws to God.

When we continuously berate ourselves and pick at our flaws and others' flaws, we are missing the opportunity to bring glory to God by lifting others up.

I also read some advice about defeating the sin of comparison:

Whenever you find yourself comparing your flaws to others, go right up to that person and compliment them on the very thing you are jealous of. Tell them congrats on getting an A on the test. Tell them that you love their hair. Tell them that it's awesome with what they do in the gym.

When we turn comparisons into ways to build people up, the devil loses and God wins.

Blake talks in his spoken word ("Just Be Yourself"--click to watch the video!), about how there's a wish to go back to a time when comparisons didn't happen. When innocence was running rampant and we didn't care who owned what or who had the best hair or eyes or clothes or cars.

One of my favorite verses from his spoken word is: "We should celebrate the fact that we're all so uniquely diverse and actually start to converse; so we can learn about each other as well as learn from one another and celebrate our differences."

He hits it right on the mark. We should celebrate our differences.

My battle cry for this week will be the same thing morning, noon and night:

Boys and girls RIVAL each other. Men and women REVIVE each another. 
Boys and girls EMPALE each another. Men and women EMPOWER each other.
Boys and girls COMPARE each other. Men and women CHAMPION each other. 

Let's not be people who compare each other; let's be people who champion each other.

Like Blake says:

"It's your story. It's the life you've been given. So, celebrate every day, enjoy every second your liven'...We need to be happy by being ourselves...to be cool, simply, just be yourself."

[A big thank you to Blake, who sat down with me to help get rid of my writer's block and to talk about life. Go check out his other cool spoken words on his YouTube Channel: AsToldByGingerSnap.]

In His Love.