Silent

My breath was taken away tonight. I got to witness and be a part of one of the most amazing nights of my life so far.

Tonight was "Silent Night" at the Berry College chapel. For those who don't know what "Silent Night" is, I will explain it in just a bit. 

A group known as Imprinted Blog set this all up and I honestly was a bit unsure of it at first. I mean, I'm a busy college student. I don't have time to go to a two hour event in the evening. Then, a friend texted me last week if I was going as she didn't want to go alone, and I told her that I was. So, tonight, I picked up my bible and my coffee mug and set off to the chapel with her to see what this night was going to hold for me.

And boy, was I pleasantly surprised. 

These people had set up a table with treats and free coffee. (I KNOW. I was too excited about free food and coffee.)

Anyway, there were also stations set up around the chapel. And the goal was to follow them around the chapel in a counter-clockwise fashion. So, armed with coffee and a clear mind, we set off on a journey of reflection. 

These stations were mesmerizing and so, so eye-opening. From handling balls of clay and focusing in on what it means to be moldable in the Potter's hands to writing letters to friends and family and those who need it. Every station was its own kind of revelation in myself and who I was in God. I was able to dig deep into the Word and focus on what He was telling me. I was able to hear Him in the silence. 

Out of all the stations, there was one that was my absolute favorite. We were asked to go into a room and focus on the names God gives us. Immediately, I thought back to my blog. Obviously, as you guys know, my blog is titled "Hello, My Name Is..." and every post is a different name I am given by God. I couldn't write all of those names down and they were all swirling in my head.

We were told that once we figure out a name, we should write it on the mirror in the room. Already, the mirror had names liked "lovely", "son", and "friend" on it. As soon as my eyes landed on the mirror, I knew what name God wanted me to write. And thus, I wrote "DIVINE". 

(Later on during the night, I would go on to write the phrase "broken but beloved" on a color swatch an stick it to another board.)

Divine means so many things to me and while I haven't written a blog post about it yet, I'm sure I will do so in the future. God calls me divine and I couldn't be happier.

I spent the last half hour in the chapel focusing on what God was saying to me. I was brought to my knees in the pews and poured out my heart to God. I released my burdens and placed my anxious heart into His hands. I opened my Bible to the cover page and saw another thing that I don't place much thought into. The cover page of my Bible is covered in verses of some of my favorite worship songs. I would write them down after hearing a song I particularly like. I don't think much about it until I looked at it tonight and the words "Come as you are" stared back at me. 

I once again broke down in tears. For so many weeks I would go to church as someone I'm not. I want to please a certain crowd. I dress the part and play the part of a good Christian. I bury my sins deep down and act like they never happened. Those words in my Bible reminded me that I don't need to hide myself from Christ. He knows my innermost thoughts. There's no hiding from him. 

God is so good to me when I don't deserve it. He speaks to me in the silence and all I need to do is shut up and listen. Tonight was one of those moments when I realized that and more. I think we all need a little silence in our lives. It allows us to truly hear God and to reflect on everything happening in our lives.

In His Name.

Happy to Be Alive: A Letter to Boys Who Deserve More

A little over a week ago, I wrote a letter to all young women. I wrote to them to let them know that they deserve better. I wrote a letter to them telling them not to settle. And now, I want to write a letter to all young men out there. I want to tell you guys something similar to what I told all young women out there.

Dear You,

I hope you know how important you are in this crazy world. I hope you realize that no matter what is going on in life, you deserve so much better than you think. You are so freaking significant. You are just as significant in this search for love as the girl sitting next to you right now. Like I've told all young women, you deserve to be treated beyond your expectations. You don't deserve to be looked over and you definitely don't deserve to be unnoticed. You deserve way more than to just be noticed. by anyone. You deserve to search for more in a partner. You know what? You deserve someone who will make you happy to just be alive. 

Guys, I want to be the first to tell you to date someone who makes you appreciate life. As humans in this messed up society, we throw away our check-lists. You know what I'm talking about. Those check-lists that you write when you are looking for a partner. The ones that say she should be "God-loving, smart, kind, humble, has a rad sense of humor, etc". We are throwing those lists away and are quickly replacing them with shallow standards. We only check off if they are good-looking. Maybe it's that they laugh at things with their whole heart, but those things may be far below our morals or intelligence. Maybe they really do love other people, but are struggling to love themselves. Maybe they are showing an optimistic outlook, but are more than likely looking in the mirror than out through the window. 

Yo, what happened to standards? Like I told the ladies a week ago, our society is more focused on the shallow, worldly things than on the big picture. We are settling for partners who seem to be good for us rather than those who are God-chosen. We need to stop focusing on the shallow aspects of dating and instead, focus on looking for a partner who gives up a positive outlook on life and ourselves. 

Guys, date someone who has traveled to far off places. Date someone who has stories and isn't afraid to share them. Date someone who has looked failure in the eye and who hasn't run away from it. Better yet, date someone who doesn't fear failure in her life. Date the person who would rather go on a weekend trip to the mountains (or the beach) than sit on the couch and not move for hours. Date someone who isn't afraid to get a little dirt under her nails. Better yet, date someone who isn't afraid to break a nail. Date that person who'd rather have a conversations with you than scroll through the latest Twitter or Facebook posts on her phone. Date that person who'd rather have a deep relationship with the Lord than someone who goes for the numbing effect of drugs or alcohol. Date someone who treats you like the wonderful, amazing human you are rather than someone who treats you as an object of sexual desire. 

Guys, date someone who you can be yourself around; someone who makes you comfortable with you. Date someone who does not make you feel guilty for being your wonderful self but instead, celebrates it whenever they get the chance. Date someone who wants you to grow and will allow you to do that very thing. Date someone who is confident in dancing alone, but would rather dance with you. Date someone who makes you laugh; who makes you laugh loudly and with gusto. Date that person who you'd love to go on multiple road trips with; someone you won't get bored with. Date someone who, when facing difficult times, runs towards people rather than running away. Date someone who takes your opinion into account as much as they do their own. Date the person who treats the people behind the counter the same way they would treat the CEO of the business. Date the person who gets it. Date the person who knows who they are. Date the person who would be able to take on life without you by their side every second. 

I've told girls this same thing: wait for the person who shows you that you are not the only one in the relationship. Wait for the one who makes you feel like you count. Wait for someone who makes you happy to be alive. Do not settle. Don't settle just because she looks good. Don't settle just because she makes you look good. Don't settle just because she makes all of your friends jealous. Don't settle just so that you can have someone to be with. When you were made in God's image, you were made so that you could be in relationships that were driven by love. Not lust. You are so loved by the Father that you deserve to have that perfect love to be reflected in a worldly relationship. 

If your mother (or even your father) and your friends tell you that they don't like her, then something is probably off in your relationship with her. The saying that "love is blind" is so, so true. We are often blinded when we are infatuated with someone. Take a look at your life. If you trusted your loved ones' opinions before this relationship, then you should trust their opinions now, too. If there is a person in your life who has the courage and guts to tell you that you deserve better than her, please listen to them. More often than not, they are right. Sweetie, you deserve to feel loved and cherished, not just slightly appreciated by someone. 

Guys, date that one who always says "thank you" when you open a car door for them. Date the one who doesn't just expect love, but in turn, gives it right back to you with as much vigor as you give her. Date the one who you'd be so freaking excited to dance with (no matter the music playing or not playing), to adopt a puppy with, to wake up on Christmas mornings with, to cry with, to sleep next to, to be with for the rest of your worldly life (not just someone to be with for the day, the month, the year). Date the one who doesn't make you fear the word "forever". Date the one you would marry. If you are currently dating someone whom you can't picture an eternity with, then you are completely missing out on the one you would. 

Wait for that girl who will stand up, look your parents in the eyes and shakes their hands. Wait for the girl who is more focused on fixing her heart than her hair. Wait for the girl who's concern is focused on her soul rather than her body. Wait for the girl who encourages your goals and dreams. Wait for the girl who humbles you. Wait for the one who compliments you well. Wait for the girl who doesn't just make your Facebook or Instagram look good, but who makes your heart feel good. Wait for the one who listens to you as much as she can hold a conversation with you. Wait for the one who treats you as important in her life. Wait for the girl who can make you think. Wait for the one who considers life an adventure. Wait for the one who has a really good hold on life. Wait for the one who makes you happy that you are alive. 

You know, wait for that girl who you'd be proud to be with; one that you would stand next to with a sign that read "This is her!". Wait for the one who refuses to collect expensive items and would rather collect deep friendships and stories. Wait for the one whom you would want your future daughter to be like. 

Do not limit yourself for only brunettes or for short girls. Do not limit yourself only for girls who play soccer or for those that are tan. Set limits for those who are good; for those who don't run away from life but would rather embrace it; for those who are not afraid to mow the lawn or can change a tire by herself. Set limits for those who show good manners; for the ones that do not fear laughing at themselves. Limit yourself to those who give you a constant love. Limit yourself to the girl who makes you happy to be alive. 

Guys, wait for the girl who chooses you; who chooses you over any other guy out there; who isn't at odds between you and another guy. Wait for the one who is seeking a lasting relationship with you, not someone who is just looking for a meaningless hook-up. 

Sweetheart, you are worth so much more than a hook-up. You are worth more than you will ever understand. 

Wait for the one who treats you like the superhero you are; not one who treats you like a sidekick. Wait for the one who doesn't fear loving you deeply and fully. Wait for the girl who treats you well and isn't afraid to show it. Wait for the one whom you'd want to introduce to your mother and your best friend at the exact same time. 

Guys, wait for the girl who makes you happy that you are alive. 

Love, 

A girl Who Knows That You Deserve More

Chaser

Let me officially say, welcome to a new year.

I know that it has been a while since I posted last and I would vehemently apologize for it, but the thing is, I enjoyed some time off from this blog. I got to spend it with family and friends and was able to enjoy myself for a month or two.

But, I am back now, and I cannot wait to start posting more!

So, what better way to start off this new year then by talking about what it means to move forward in life rather than being stuck in a moment.

Let's talk about what it means to be "chasing daylight".

This morning, I woke up super early (like 6 am early...and it's a holiday!!) so I could sit outside on my porch and watch the sunrise. I grabbed my cup of coffee, my bible and my journal and settled in for a good, long talk with my Creator. Little did I know, that my life and goals were about to change for the better.

One of my New Years resolutions was to (once again) read the bible from start to finish. I've done it once before about 4-5 years ago and thought why not do it again, now that I have a better understand of who God is in my life.

So I started off in the book of Deuteronomy, in chapter 30. (This is where I had left off the other night while reading.) I got to a particular passage in this chapter and let me just say, I was blown away. Here is the passage:

"See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. 

"But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long....

"...Now choose life, so that you and your children may live...For the Lord is your life..." (Deuteronomy 30: 15-20)

In this passage, God is pointing to two different paths. One will be a journey that parts ways from Him and the other leads to a journey in which He will part the way. One points to death, the other points to life.

There are three words I would like to focus on, though. Three words that are passed on from God to us, His people: "Now choose life".

Those words are life-changing to me. God isn't just telling me to live a life focused on Him and His word. He is telling me:

"Kaitlyn, you were born to live a great adventure; you were created with a divine destiny; You are called to fulfill a great mission. You were designed, by Me, for a unique purpose. Now, you are called to live it out."

In those words from before, God is telling us that right now, in this moment, put away the baggage from the past, shake ourselves free from the fear of the future unknown. Right now, choose life--seize divine moments.

To relive the past is to relinquish the future. If you are willing to let go of the past, then you are ready to step into the future. When you choose to remain stuck in a moment, you become incapable of seizing divine moments.

This morning, during my quiet time with God, I found that I want to stop living in the past. I want to stop reliving moments over and over again, wondering what I could have done differently to avoid some regretful actions and decisions. I want to move forward. I want to dare to look into the future. And if the future scares me, then I'll just take it one moment at a time. 

We were designed to move forwards in time, never to move backwards, nor to stay stuck in a moment. We were designed to chase the daylight--to chase our futures and to chase our dreams. 

I want to be a chaser.

So, here's a question for you:

In your moment of truth, what will you choose? Will you choose the wilderness or the adventure? Have you confused the blessing of God with wealth, comfort, and security? Have you considered that God's greatest gift to you is that He calls you to be a pioneer, explorer, and even creator?

There are things God does for you and things that God waits for you to do. The journey begins when you choose. Stop wasting daylight. Choose a life of meaningful adventure. When you do, you will live in the epicenter of God's activity.

In His love.

Faithful

In my life, I have had a lot of challenges growing up at a devout Christian. People were always ready to tear me down; ready to berate me for my beliefs. Those people were part of the causes that led to my depression and rebelliousness against the Christian beliefs while I was in high school. I had never realized how much opposition there was towards the Christian faith until then.

Since then, I've grown much stronger in my faith. That's not to say that I don't have struggles anymore. Cause I do. I still encounter people who want to challenge my beliefs and who want to tear me down till I'm nothing but dust.

What I want to talk about, today, however, is how I've been able to keep my faith in Christ as strong as it is and what it's like being one of Christ's disciples. Let me tell you, though, it isn't easy. It takes a lot of dedication and willpower.

College is a completely new adventure. We, as students, must learn new time-management skills, face new challenges, make brand new friends (all the while trying to keep up with the old ones), and make good grades. Those things are all very important and necessary in a college career. (It personally took me a lot of time and a couple of mistakes to realize that those things, while important, are not the biggest priority.

I had to learn how to stand up for what I believe it...even when that meant I was standing alone. Now, I am not ashamed of the gospel or for what I believe in, but in a society where being "cool" and "wild" is in style, keeping the faith in college can be a real mudslide of fear and intimidation.

So, let me share some things to help you (and me!) keep up our faith in college and beyond.

Journaling

"Show me Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day." (Psalms 25:4-5)

Second semester of my freshman year, I found that keeping a journal helped me keep a firm stance in my beliefs. It keeps me in touch with my emotions and helps me remain in touch with God at all times.

When journaling, it doesn't matter what you write in, whether it be a fancy, moleskin notebook, a spiral notebook, or a notes app on your phone. Just make it an easily accessible way to write down your thoughts at any time in any place. (I also use my blog as a way to keep in touch with everything. You can use this idea or even make a private blog that only you can read!)

Now, I always find myself reaching for my journal when something is weighing on my mind. When I am able to write this burden onto paper, I feel that it has been partially released from me and my shoulders begin to feel lighter. It doesn't act permanently, but it allows me to focus on other things, such as homework or work, rather than letting it control my thoughts, ultimately distracting me from anything else that is of importance.

When we write, we are usually more engaged and more focused on whatever it is we are doing. We tend to be able to finish our thoughts when writing rather that leaving it mid thought. This is also just a time set apart for God and for God only. None of it has to be formal or fancy or eloquent. It just needs to capture what's on your heart at that moment in time.

(It's also pretty cool to look back at past journals and see how God was working in and through your heart and life!)

"Jesus Time"

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

As college students, we have very busy lives. Our days are filled with sports, classes, homework, meals, clubs, intramurals, etc. In the midst of this chaos, it can be hard to find time to spend with Christ. I mean, do you set apart time for praying, reading, praising, or in fellowship with others during the day, night, the weekend, weekday or everyday?

Being in a relationship with Christ takes time and effort. He is always available for us to come talk to Him, but as humans, we are agents of free will and it is up to us to accept or decline that invitation on a daily basis.

Here are some examples of ways to set apart your own "Jesus Time":

• Start a bible study with a group of friends
• When working out, instead of listening to music, listen to church sermons.
• Set apart a set time that is dedicated only to reading your Bible and spending time in prayer. 
• Find time to meet with (or Skype) with friends to talk about God and other things going on in your heart. 
• Create a Pinterest board that is dedicated to Bible verses and other Christian thoughts for those days when you just need a faith boost.

Devotionals

"So then, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17)

The amount of devotionals I have done in the past year is crazy. I have found so many different ones that relate to so many different topics that help me in my faith. In fact, I'm working on three different ones right now. There's a daily one that I sit down at night and complete (it takes me about 5-10 minutes); a weekly one right now called "The Disciple--A Journey with God" that I do every Tuesday night (it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour); and then a monthly one called "Seven" (I read a little bit from this one every other day or so). And after I finish those, I have another one ready to go called "If Jesus Were a Sophomore--Discipleship for College Students". 

Devotionals are a great way to keep your faith strong. Once you find a devotional you want to work through, take about thirty minutes a day to sit down with your bible and that book and focus on what it's telling you. Some devotionals may by daily, some may be weekly, some monthly. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you take time to sit down and really meditate on His Word. 

Keeping the faith in college is definitely a challenge. You have to leap through many different obstacles in order to stay strong. You also must be willing to stand up for your beliefs even when nobody is willing to stand up with you. To keep your faith, you must maintain good habits and sustain yourself in His presence and His words. 

At the end of the day, your heart will remain in His peace.

In His Love.

Student

So, tonight, I really want to talk about devotionals and what they mean in our lives, as Christians.

As Christians, we are called to constant study of the Word. God wants us to know His story and wants us to apply it to our story. These studies are more commonly known as our devotionals. They can also be seen as Bible Studies (usually found in churches). Devotionals are more for your personal time with the Creator.

Devotions are meant for daily use. They are not to be read and finished in one sitting. The point of them is to read a little bit each day and to focus on one verse or one story specifically.

Many people complete their daily devotions in different ways. Some sit in complete silence; some like to have praise in the background, etc. Since, I want to help you guys understand the importance of these devotions, I'll tell you about my daily time with God.

1. I usually start off with a dance party for one. I have a playlist with loud, crazy Christian music and I will dance around my room, singing along to each and every song. Granted, it may be off-key and I may be an awkward dancer, but God is the only one watching, so I give it my all.

2. I, then, make myself a cup of something warm (whether it be tea, coffee or hot chocolate, depending on my mood). I always feel more focused with a cup of something to calm my nerves. (Especially after that crazy dance party.)

3. I switch playlists to a more calming praise station. It still blares out my speakers, but it's more controlled. Thus, it helps me focus more.

4. I start with my 1000 Things to be Thankful for list. I talked about it in an earlier post (which you can read here).

5. Then, I find whichever bible study I'm working on at the moment and work on a chapter. Right now, I am in a series called "A Journey With God". I'm on the third book in the series and it is seriously changing the way I am living my life.

6. After my bible study, I usually read a chapter or two of my Bible. I am working through the entire Bible at the moment and am in the book of Malachi, which is the last book of the Old Testament.

7. I pray. (This is one of the most important parts of my time with God. They are the moments when I can release my burdens to Him. I can tell Him of my struggles and worries. I can thank Him for my life and for the mercies He has bestowed upon me. I can ask Him for those things that I need to ask for. It is so important to me that I establish that connection with my Father.)

8. I do a study called "5 Songs A Day" given to me by my best friend. (This is a new step as I just started it this weekend. )

      One of my really good friends here at school (his name is Thomas) sent me these little song of the day devotionals last year. I remember looking at them and skimming over them, but really didn't think of actually studying them. Well, I found them when cleaning out my computer this weekend and decided to open up the first one when I was doing my devotional yesterday.
      That devotional floored me. I had no idea my best friend was this good at writing out devotionals.
      So you understand a bit more, Thomas took five songs--five different, praise songs---added a link to the lyrics and then wrote about them. He asks you to listen to the song and to read the lyrics while doing so. (Personally, I listen to the song twice. Once to just listen and then again while looking at the lyrics.) Then, he writes a paragraph or two talking about what the song means (sometimes in his life) and what we should do with it.
      I haven't told him yet, but already, each of these little studies have brought me to my knees in tears. And it's only Day 2. I'm getting chills and tears just thinking about the study I did tonight. This guy...I had no idea how much he would bless my life. Thank you for being you, Thomas. You mean the world to me and I know how pleased God is with you right now.

9. Most of the time, I wind down with another dance party. Other times, with a cookie and milk. Haha.

But, that's just my devotion time line. Yours will be completely different. It takes time to find your groove, but it'll happen. Trust me. It took me almost 18 years to find a groove that was just me.

If you have any questions about doing a personal devotional or if you want to get together with me to do a group study, feel free to hit me up. Or if you just have questions in general about me, my blog, my story, my faith, anything, don't be scared to email me, text me, Facebook me, Skype me, whatever. I'd love to hear from you guys.

Before I sign off on this post, I'm going to leave you with the Quote of the Day from Thomas's study yesterday. I really liked it and just thought it was too important not to share.

“If there ever were a test of our faith- if there ever were a test of the motives of our worship- it is when a storm rolls into our lives. Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us.” – Casting Crowns

In explanation of their hit song “Praise You In This Storm,” Casting Crowns made this statement. Basically, the storms of our life is the biggest tests of faith that we will face. Whether it is the death of a love one, break-up, losing a job, etc, these storms are aimed by Satan to destroy us and turn us away from God by saying “where is your God in this time of trial. He has abandoned you.” Casting Crowns counters that argument by saying God is always present. In certain instances, He calms the storm immediately so we do not suffer much. But there are times when He doesn’t because He wants it to strengthen us. In this case, He is still by our side and gives us strength to weather the storm.

In His love,

Kaitlyn