Thankful

So, it's my first Friday night back at school and I'm sitting in my room by myself. Down the road, there's a back-to-school dance going on; there's a huge volleyball match right outside my window; people were baking cookies earlier in the kitchen. There's a lot of stuff going on tonight, but I decided to stay in. Part of the reason is because I have an awful headache and a fever, so I don't feel so well. And the other part is because I wanted to spend time in the Word. I haven't done that a lot recently, and I felt like tonight was a perfect night to do so.

So here I am. With my mug full of hot tea, my Bible opened, my praise music on, and my new devotional already covered in my handwriting.

I started my time with my Father by opening my journal and working on my Thankful List.

Now, many of you may be wondering what a Thankful List is and I'm happy to explain.

About a year ago, one of my very best friends told me about this list she had been keeping where she wrote down everything she is thankful for. Obviously, I was intrigued. She told me that whenever something that she took for granted or just was happy about, she would write it on the list. The challenge was to find 1000 things to be thankful for. Yes, you can repeat things. (You're allowed to be thankful for something more than once in your life.)

So, the next day, I found a journal that I was going to discard because I honestly didn't want to look at it anymore. (Note: I'm about to go into a side-tracked story for you to understand why I wanted to get rid of the journal.) 

On the front of it was the logo for Winshape, the Christian program at my school. You have to apply to be in this program and I did so. I even got as far as the interview process. I got to spend two days at this wonderful place where college students spent their days with each other praising God and having fun. 

To put it plainly, I fell in love with Winshape and the people there. I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted it like nothing I've ever wanted before.

After the interview process, they told us that we would be contacted in a few months for whether we got in or not. I anxiously waited for that letter. I checked the mail obsessively for weeks. I got a care package from them which contained a sticker for my car and this journal, among other little things. I was so optimistic that I went ahead and put the sticker on my car's back windshield.

Then the letter came. It was too thin. I knew without even opening it that I hadn't made it. I could barely even open it because I was shaking so badly. Once I finally opened it and read those heartbreaking few sentences, I broke down. I cried and cried and cried. I felt betrayed by God. I thought He had wanted me there. I thought that He pushed me that far because He wanted me to be a part of Winshape. 

That rejection hurt. A lot. I didn't want to look at anything to do with Winshape for a few weeks. It hurt to tell those friends I made while at the interview process that I didn't make it. I couldn't talk to any of them without breaking down and crying.

I threw away the letters from Winshape, and most of the stuff they had sent me save for a devotional, that car sticker and the journal.

It wasn't until that day that I found the journal, that I realized how thankful I was for the opportunity to interview with Winshape. Not many people get that far and I did. Obviously, God didn't want me there at that time, and I realized last year, that Winshape wasn't meant for me at all. God has bigger and better plans for me and my life, so I put my trust in Him that He knows what they are.

But anyway, after realizing that, I opened this journal and started my 1000 Things to be Thankful For list. And let me say, it's something that I treasure. I will admit that it's hard sometimes. It's been a year and I'm only halfway through the list. Somedays, I feel like I don't have something to be thankful for. But I try to write at least one thing per day no matter what.

And the cool thing is that this list can include everything from serious things to downright silly things. For example (as you can see from my pictures), I wrote down things from Subway to life in general, from my roommate to One Direction, from my faith to bubble baths. We have so so much to give thanks to.

I wrote about 15 things tonight and I'll probably write more after this post. But, my devotional tonight actually dealt with being thankful. I read so many verses about thankfulness and I am so happy that I live in a world under a God who has given me so much to be thankful for.

Take a look at these 20 verses on thankfulness:

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Psalm 107:1

Ephesians 5:20

Colossians 3:15-17

James 1:17

Philippians 4:6

2 Corinthians 9:15

Psalm 106:1

Psalm 105:1

Colossians 4:2

Psalm 118:1-18

Psalm 20:4

Psalm 30:12

Colossians 3:17

Romans 1:21

Psalm 100:4

Isaiah 12:4-5

1 Chronicles 29:13

Philemon 1:4

That is twenty (TWENTY) verse about being thankful. And I'm sure there are many many more. The ability to be thankful and to express thanks to our Lord is pretty cool and I want to be able to remember to do it every day. I want to wake up each morning and tell God thanks for just giving me another day to live. I want to go to bed every night and tell Him thanks for everything that happened that day. And I plan on doing both those things everyday now.

Trust me, every one of you reading this is on my Thankful List. I love you guys immensely and I thank you for letting me vent or just express my feelings or thoughts towards you guys. Y'all really are great.

Be thankful for what and who you have in your life. Don't take anything for granted. And live a full life.

In His love,

Kaitlyn